Can your troubled friendship be saved or is it time for a friendship breakup?
The Doctors welcome Morgan, who is having an issue with her best friend, who was supposed to be her maid of honor. The friend told Morgan she would not be able to attend her wedding due to COVID safety concerns, but Morgan says the friend is going out to dinner with other friends, attending other people's bridal showers, and even going to large gatherings -- and it's all being posted on social media.
Temperament therapist Melanie Ross Mills, author of the book “The Friendship Bond,” weighs in. She says when "the friendship does not have your best interests in mind and not handling your heart with care" that it is time to reevaluate it.
She stresses that being a good friend is all about consistency. She notes there will be times when friends drift, but regardless of people's various life events that may get in the way of spending time with each other, Melanie says a friend who is consistent with reaching out and staying connected is a sign of a healthy friendship.
If you are at friendship crossroads with someone, she says there are 3 options to consider:
- Try to address the issue and work out what each person is going through.
- Decide if it is time to let go and possibly move the friend to a different category, where they are not as close.
- Or wait and watch to see if the issue will pass and the bond can be fixed or if it is time to let them go.
If you are going to end the friendship, she says it best to address the split directly with the friend and not to be passive-aggressive about it.
And signs that a friendship can be saved -- according to the temperament therapist -- are both parties being committed to fixing the issue and having the desire to grow and become the best versions of themself.
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