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Arron and Trudy-Anne, who are also a couple, reveal how they avoid little fights and spats in their own relationship, explaining they try to be conscious about what triggers the other person, always knowing when to step away from each other, and then revisiting the issues and communicating openly about the problem.
For new couples, the therapists feel "alignment" and each person connects on important topics like what each person sees in their future and having similar goals both people are working towards is important and might be a sign of the health of the relationship.
Relationship red flags the therapists suggest couples be mindful or and may indicate it is not a good match, include:
- One person exerting excess control over the other
- Not allowing your partner to be their true self
- Conforming to the other person's expectations in order to fit into the relationship
Of course, all couples are bound to argue and disagree and Arron and Trudy-Anne say if you are able to discuss your issues calmly, civilly, and if both people are open to apologizing, the couple should be able to work through the fight.
"The last thing I want to is to see the person I've been with for such a long time to feel that he is hurt, or feels misunderstood," Trudy-Anne says of her approach to working through a spat. "It's not what you say, it is how you say it," she adds.