Shay tells us she was recently catfished by someone online who claimed to be an NFL player. She asks our experts what steps to take in order to bounce back after being scammed -- including the questions she needs to be asking potential future suitors to avoid being catfished again. She reveals she is paranoid about online dating after being duped and feels like she has to be a detective.
Relationship expert Dr. Ish Major says if people's words do not match with their actions, this could be a major red flag. "If what I am telling you does not match up with what I am doing, I am lying to you," he says.
Also, if someone is giving you the least amount of information as possible, this allows the recipient to fill in the information gaps. He notes when someone is interested in someone, they tend to fill in the gaps with good things and details we want to believe.
According to Dr. Ish, it is less about the questions you ask a potential suitor and more about how deep you go with the questions. In Shay's catfish case, Dr. Ish suggests she should have asked the person multiple questions about life as an NFL player, explaining a scam artist might have an answer ready for a few inquires, but if really pressed, their scam can be exposed with a series of specific questions.
He also suggests being honest with future suitors about being catfished in the past and explain upfront why you might be asking plenty of questions in order to get to know them.