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Has your partner ever reached for their phone mid-act? It’s surprisingly more common than you think! A new study found one in ten adults admitted to checking their phone during sex. The Doctors polled their viewers and out of the 2,000 people who responded, 18% said their partner has looked at their phone while being intimate.
Dermatologist Dr. Sonia Batra says this is horrifying! “What does this say about our human connection today?” ER physician Dr. Travis Stork adds that out of those people in the study who said they do check their phones, 43% said they have done it between two to ten times in the past year.
The Doctors invite psychiatrist Dr. Ish Major into the discussion. Dr. Ish agrees with The Doctors that this is horrible! “If your sex partner can’t hold your attention while you’re having sex, you’re having sex with the wrong partner,” says Dr. Ish.
Dr. Ish explains when someone is checking their phone when they’re with their partner, having sex or not, it sends the message that their partner is not very significant and they’re just one more thing they have to check off on their to-do list.
Dr. Batra says this behavior is happening in all arenas and there’s even a term for this phone snubbing called “fubbing.” She asks Dr. Ish, how do we fix this?
Dr. Ish says you need to establish specific times of the day that are phone-free. Dr. Ish says he personally has a no-tech in the bedroom rule. He says people should designate these phone-free times at least once or twice a day, for at least 30 minutes, to check in with their partner, face-to-face, with no distractions.
Plastic surgeon Dr. Andrew Ordon adds this is so important to do with children. He says parents should teach them at a young age that there are times and places where phones shouldn’t be used.
Dr. Travis asks Dr. Ish if those couples who engage more with phones in their relationships actually have higher levels of depression. Dr. Ish says that is true. He explains we define ourselves by our partners. "Our partners look for us to be their best of everything. Their best friend, their best lover, their confidant, their emotional equal. When your attention turns away from me, now I’m questioning, am I really that?” Dr. Ish continues saying this leads to people having existential questions, questioning who they really are.
Dr. Ish reminds viewers, “You’re certainly worth telling your significant other to check that tech at the door before you come in my bedroom!”