Psychiatrist, relationship expert, and author Dr. Ish Major joins The Doctors to answer questions about love and dating in the digital age.
One viewer wants to know whether she and her significant other should share each other’s social-media passwords. “That’s an excellent question,” says Dr. Major, “and here’s the answer. That’s a horrible idea. If you don’t trust the person you’re with, why are you dating them? What you don’t want to do is start scrolling and trolling each other’s feeds, looking for evidence that supports your own insecurities. Just don’t do it!”
Ob/Gyn Dr. Nita Landry wants to know about married couples who share email or social media accounts. “I’ve seen it go both ways,” Dr. Major responds. “For people who’ve been married a long time, there are no secrets! But if you want to have a little section that’s all your own, I think it’s totally fine to do that.” The key is setting the ground rules beforehand, so nobody gets surprised.
What about a woman whose coworker calls her his “work wife” – will her husband not like this? “She knows the answer to that!” says Dr. Landry. “I’m going to give her the side-eye on this one, because she already knows the answer,” agrees Dr. Major. “If you’ve got to think twice about it, something’s not right.” But he does believe that, in general, couples should talk about their work lives with each other – it’s natural to share something that’s such a big part of your life.
Finally, a viewer says her husband watches adult movies. Does that mean something is missing in their love life? “That’s a great question,” Dr. Major responds. “And the answer is, porn is not your problem. If porn is his solution to something that’s lacking in your sex life and intimacy, then it becomes a problem. This opens the door to have a really honest conversation about sex, intimacy, needs, and wants.”
Dr. Major dispenses more advice weekly on his WE tv show, “Marriage Bootcamp,” and his new book “Little White Whys” explains what men’s lies REALLY mean.