Hi Kara!  How are you?  How's that new kitten of your's? :)  I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving and also have some good holidays ahead.  I'll be with my parents for Christmas this year.  Nice and quiet.  Spent Thanksgiving with my sister and family from NJ.  I had a great time but it was chaotic at times.  Weather here is crazy--50's past 2 days, then on Tuesday the cold hits, and then BLACK ICE !  I can't/don't drive but I walk and will have to be so careful especially now since it's rained these past 2 days  and then it all freezing up everywhere.  Looking forward to hearing from you!

Melissa.

Hey Kara!  Nice to hear from you!  I'm getting ready for Thanksgiving, will be with my sister and her family this year.  Will be nice to be with people, when I've been alone for many years.  I'm doing ok, going on long walks, keeping low stress as much as I can, doing little things here and there.  But overall I am happy :)

I'm sorry to hear about your friend.  A close friend of my mother's just had one too about a month ago, and he's doing ok, but unfortunately things are never the same.  I'm sorry about your car too---I don't drive but would be freaked if I did and someone got into my car.  Please try not to feel bad about the past 3 weeks.  Like you said, it's one of those things it is like a trial in life.  Just remember even though bad things happen, it makes us stronger.  I know it is totally easier said then done though.  Wonder why things happen , but I guess somehow we learn something from it.   I dont know what, but something is learned whether we realize it or not.  Hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving :)  Write when you can.

About the password and getting on the site...maybe tech support can help.  Otherwise not sure.

Melissa.

Hi melissa,

Im sorry I havent responded in a while. The site wouldnt let me on something to do with my password?

Anyway, your totally right.  The bad things havent stopped in that my friend had a stroke and is now paralized from one side, my caar got broken into and Im going crazy trying to keep up atr work. But all the things I guess are trials of life and I have so many stories to pass on and help others learn from. these last three weeks have just been unreal and unfortunate. But Im still here and working on trying to get back on track. I feel bad for falling off the band wagon but I think Im ready again now. Hopefully the holidays bring better memories then the last three weeks.

how are you?

Kara

Hi Kara,

I remember when I was at my limit--well, just about--a few times.  Then things did calm down for awhile.  Not like I wanted but dealable.  I wondered what God was thinking when he "dealt" me this "hand" in life.  Some people have it all good, some have it bad, some in between.  I guess the people who are in (tight) situations makes them more stronger people.  And then we know if bad times came for everyone, WE would know how to survive better that the people with no problems, and come ahead in it all.

Melissa.

Thanks melissa.

thanks for the kind words.

Sleep is hard for me anyway. Im always "on", my brain has a hard ime shutting down. And with being so sick and all the stress of both jobs and my personal life its hard to sleep. Im hoping to see a Dr next week to get better as this cold has been going on for like almost two weeks! and its nasty and sounds like a smokers cough. I dont have insurane so ill have to go find a place that is sliding fee, thats why i havent gone yet. well see i this week is better.

as for giving me more than i can handle, i think ive reached almost my limit. my life is never calm. id like it to be calm and just be normal at some point. 30yrs of this crap is enough, regardless of what im suppose to learn or there is a reason for. i wish itd hurry up cause i need a break. i need to just feel secure and happy. you know? all my health issues go away all my money problems go away everything. i need a calm to this 20yr storm seriously...i dont know why im not crazy yet, i feel like its coming.

anyway, have a good day.

kara

Hi :)

I am glad things are getting better for you.  You certainly don't deserve all that you went/are going through.  I'm glad to see you on the board again.  I believe that there is a reason for everything in this world, good or bad.  God only gives us what He thinks we can handle.  Sometimes is doesn't seem fair or it seems like you're being tested; but all I do is move on.  it's hard to do that right away sometimes though.  Unfortunately it's all we can do though IMO.

Melissa.

Hi Kara, I am doing ok.  IMO, sleeping helps in circumstances like yours (it does in certain situations).  It helps your body heal and rest from the day.  Not saying you'll wake up an dbe totally fine, just the day MIGHT go a little better so you can think "clearer".

Melissa.

So in my effort to branch out and be more expirmentful with food i tried pork last night stuffed with stuffing. they were small and there wasnt alot of stuffing at all. it was my frist time having both. i dont eat pork products, never have. it was interesting to say the least. i liked the stuffing, i can see why people like it at thanksgiving.

my best friend is trying to get me to try new things, ok her fiance is. they are loosing weight with me. its nice that they try and support me everytime. it feels good that they care. they didnt tell me until last night. she is getting married next year and im in the wedding as well. so they said since im trying to loose weight for the wedding they will too! i feel lucky to have friends like them. ive known them 9yrs and they have been the most supportive friends in the world. each time i cry wolf they are there to support me, but this time i mean buisness. and i think they know it! lol... 

this new way of life has gotten me in good spirits. i feel like ive taken control of my life finally. that it doesnt control me anymore! and i look forward to my bday next year and be 100lbs lighter. it will be a great bday!

So now with the firdst week of working out out of the way I have begun to realize how reliving it is. I get home from a long day of being with 14 toddlers and I want to just decrese the stress. I actually look forward to it. i dont let anything get in my way. I will admit i tried to get out of it twice but i kept to it. The eating has been hard and Ive lost some of my appitite but I ate moderately. Mostly every two hours with the exception of morning snack. I still have to figure that one out as I work and teach during that time, its hard to break away. Ive been keeping a food journal of what I eat and how mucha dn the time. I also write down any changes to like, fatigue or whatever. Im trying to keep track of the process. I figure by years end I will have lost about 20 or so lbs. or at least thats the goal. Which for me would be great! Id love to go into the new year a better person then I came into this one.

I realized this week when chasing around 14 toddlers you have to have energy and endurance. Lots of bending over and getting up and sitting down. things I lack and have a weak back from, as well as being over weight. i think loosing weight will help me at worka nd help me personally too. It will save me life as i fear it will kill me still. in watching this show it has really open my eyes to all the fears i have. But i feel like i have taken charge of it and turned it around!