So day 2 and all that was on my mind was food. food.food.  As I swung on the fridge door I kept in mind what my mission is.  To be healthy and be in the moment of my choices.  With a little boredom I found I wanted to eat what was not on my plan.  Then I found my way back to deal with feelings.  Feel it and move past it without stuffing my pretty face with ick.  Not feeling bloated or like a beached whale.  It felt good to feel good.

Just 10 min ago I found out that my pap smear came back abnormal.  I visited Planned parenthood because I do not have insurance.  It has been 20+ years since I have had one and decided to be proactive with my health and that was first on the list.  Breathe.  I need a coloscopy done.  SImple procedure for the lesions found on my cervix.  Heart rate increases here.  I know logically it is common procedure and it will be ok.  It is just the next step for me to take care of me.  I just feel a little nervous.  I so wanted to run, no fly, to the supermarket to pick up a pint of ice cream. (not sorbet the hard stuff.. ice cream.)  When I thought, no I hven't journaled my day yet.  Here I am.  I have talked myself off the ice cream ledge.  With a little help here for me to express myself.  Thank you.

So, I will handle and deal and move thru this next step.  I am in the moment of where I am and not trying to get to the finish line.  Each step I am aware of where I am and will stay in the moment.  I am ok.  This is ok.  I have to feel.  I am feeling what I am to be feeling.  I am not alone.

It feels great to share honestly and openly.  It feels better than feeling miserable from over eating.

Smile.

Muah!