I haven't been on here in a long time. I was praying my team was going to find an inpatient treatment center for me, but the reality is there isn't any where for me to go. My insurance just won't pay for it. I had to give my team the job of finding a place for me because all the rejections were triggering even more eating disorder behaviors. I'm not doing well. I just had lab work done. My potassium, electrolites, white & red blood counts, magesium levels are all low. I'm very weak & exhausted. I've been offically diagnosed now with bulimia, anorexia (the binge/purge type), anxiety & depression. I do still see my team all the time. It's just not gettiing any better for me. My team says it's not my fault, it's no longer a choice for me. Without inpatient treatment I have pretty much bought my death sentence. My team is still even looking into scholarships. But still nothing. I've never felt so all alone & hopeless in my entire life as I do right now. I so desperatly wish it were different but it's not and yet no one seems to understand what I'm going through. Yet everyone wants me fixed already. Seriously??? if it were only that simple.