Sorry I haven't written for a while. I have been going through weird times.  I have a new granddaughter born August 26 of this year. Her name is Keanna Ruth. Her mom was kind enough to let me be there with her and my son. My other granddaughter was there too, but in the waiting room. She's fourteen know and was having strange feelings about seeing a baby born that wasn't from her own mother. Still, when the baby was born, and Malika held her little sister for the first time, she cried. She she there was no such thing as a half sister, she was her sister period.  Pretty mature for a kid her age, right? Keanna had a rough start, she wasn't breathing when she came out and had to stay on oxygen for the first 48 hours, but she is fine now. She is still a little thing but very bright and alert.  This is the first time my son has to deal with a newborn.  Malika's mom didn't know who her father was so my son missed out on being there for her the first few years of her life.  But when he was proven to be the dad, he stepped up. Know he has his daughter living with him, and raising the newest one. I believe he and his girlfriend, which I think of as a daughter in law aready, will fine their way and get used to being a family.

My dad moved in with us a year ago. He had been living in the woods of Louisiana in a trailer that had no eletricity or running water. He has cancer, lymphoma I believe. Anyway, he showed up at our door one day.  And mom said she felt sorry for him and allowed him to move in.  Beleive me when I say that most of the time, I know stay in my room because I can't stand the bickering!  I am happy they didn't stay married when we were kids, I don't think I would have been able to handle at all then!

So, my body is going through changes.  I had a wonderful time in Las Vegas in Septermber for my 51 birthday.  I saw three shows and went to the wax museum. I danced a lot and drank and gambled a little. But, I am still having the bad cramps and skipping periods. I didn't have one in September, and October. But Nov 25 I did and again December 13th.  They were heavy and extremely painful.  I am seeing a doctor now, even though the bills are piling up. 

Lately, I been having the old nightmares about when my ex-husband attacked me and nearly killed me. I wake up drenced in sweat and holding my lip. The pain is real and lingering.  The area that he bit off and was re-attached aches alot.  Now, I feel like it's the biggest thing on my face and everyone is looking at it.  I know this is all in my mind and I am trying to cope with it.  Most of the time, I keep mu head down more so people won't see my face. I mean, it was 18 years ago but I guess a trauma like that never goes away, does it?

I am trying to get my teeth worked on too.  The two front ones are visibly rotten. I still smile and laugh alot, but I cover my mouth more. I don't get why everything is starting to bother me more now.  Mom said tht maybe my mind is opening up more and allowing more of the pain I supressed long ago out.  Maybe I am strong enough to handle it now.  I am afraid. What if I can't?   I mean, as far as relationships are concern, well, I celerbrated my 11th year of celibacy on the 12 of this month. I have been asked out on dates but havent' gone on any of them. Most of the time I am glad.  I do miss having a man to talk to and to go out with. But wuth all the awful things I have seen in the news and in person, dating is much too scary.  Maybe I was meant to be alone.  Well, at least I have my writing to keep my company.  And, I was in Vegas alone and had a wonderful time!  So, I guess things could be worst.  Oh, Labelfree, I am getting some mail from you.  I don't mind that people have my E-mail address, it justannie05@att.net.    Love to you all and have a blessed Christmas.