I know how you feel my 14 year niece drives me crazy as well, she also thinks the world and everyone  including me, my mom and the rest of our family owes her everying and that whatever she should desire shall be lavished upon her. I blame her her parents ( Not that I blame you ) it's just that my brother and his wife have seriously lacked in teaching her and her older brothers' the values and morels they will need to make it through this world. Her 20 year brother and 17 year old brother have thankfully grown out of that stage where they think they know more then their elders but her I'm worried about because according to her parents nothing is EVER her fault and blame it on her brother(s) when the oldest is home from college.

 She is truly a bossy little girl who thinks that all should be given to her and her mother just says " She's just like her momma." And it's that attidude that I fear will get her in major trouble one day especailly since she has started high school this year because she would have no problem telling some one off if she wanted too and her parents would do little about it.

   So do what you can to to get her back on track even if it does mean taking her to the doctor or therapist to get her help because if not things may only get worse.

                                   Lots of luck, Carrie

I can't really say I know what to do, since I myself am still young. However, I CAN tell you about the experiences I went through with one of my older brothers and my biological father who are exactly the same way as your 14 year old.

They both twist things around so it makes the other person look stupid, or daft, or just simply unintelligent and wrong. They care for no one but themselves, and think they are above the law itself. In fact, one of their favorite sayings is 'Get them before they get you'. Needless to say, they are BOTH Sociopaths and have been evaluated and diagnosed as such.

Now, I'm not a psychology major, and I am not a doctor. But I say get her a psycological evaluation. ADHD is no excuse for her behavior (I have ADHD, always have. And I nevr dared to act disrespectful to ANYONE). She perhaps has an underlying psychological problem. If she is as bad as it sounds, and what I'm thinking, she might be a Sociopath.

Sounds pretty typical teen behavior to me! Seriously, I think most of us ADHD/Asperger's type challenge rules. Stay consistant..set your limits..don't let her wear you down..she will try her best..and it's SO hard after a tough day to tell them, 'NO' and listen to them stomp and whine, etc...

when my older son was in 9th grade, he said the 'f' word in front of me, his father, his baby brother, the principal and a teacher--I slapped him across the mouth (didn't punch him, didn't draw blood, didn't knock out a tooth, wasn't wearing jewelry, didn't knock him out of his chair-just instinctively reached out and touched him) it was not abuse, it was discipline--the school called DCS, they were less concerned with his language and respect for folks than I was...DCS came out, heard the story and told them (and him), 'the next time some kid gets his mouth slapped for cursing, don't waste my time and taxpayer money calling--give the parent a medal'--now, I'm no prude, but I will not allow my child to say that TO me or in FRONT of me, can I tell you he has NEVER used that word in my presence again!!

I was not put on this earth to be his best friend, I am here to guide (and mother and nag) him into adulthood.

also, pick your battles..don't stress over everything...my own dear Mother had somethings that were firm limits, others, ah-didn't care about--I've tried to follow her example--haven't always been successful, but tried...

it's amazing how smart she got as I got older....my son is now saying the same thing about me..

you (and yours) will too

keep in touch

I think maybe you should take her to see a therapist to she if anything else is going on,she might need to talk to some one.I know at that age teenagers will try anything to push your buttons,but you Cant let her have power over you and thats what she is doing.Usually when people put others down they dont have a very good self-esteem about themselves.Thats just my opinion.Hope you can get this problem nipped in the bud before it gets worse.

Yvonne

Hi, I am Julie and I am sixteen years old. I am not sure why others are disrespectful, but I know why I can be and maybe I can tell you how to reach out to your daughter. If I am having a bad attitude toward my mom, which is a lot, I usually feel crowded. It may not be that way at all, but sometimes I want to just be alone. Other times I try to make my mom look stupid because I want to be right. I think I have to be right about everything, especially when it comes to my mother. Maybe you should ask her if there is anything that she needs to talk to you about. There might be feelings that she is holding in and the only way she knows how to vent is to lash out at the ones she loves the most. I am not sure if any of this will help, but I know that she does love you. Even if it doesnt seem like it at times, she does.

JULIE(: