I dont know about anyone else,  Does anyone out there have a family member who is really really sick?

Tommy woke up 2 days ago with such back ache he couldnt stand, sit, nothing.  He was grabbing his back and since the beginning of MARCH 1, 2010 when he went into the hospital for congestive heartfailure/Kidney failure I couldnt help to think  OMG HIS KIDNEYS are shutting down.

On the first day I called our GPD/A wonderful man who is actually the Medical Director Doctor of our regular DRS OFFICE...He was all set to talk with me and I said DR B "please let me just put "TOMMY"  on the phone."

If his back wasnt better by yesterday 3-19-10....DR B said bring him in...

BUT if he was really bad throughout the nite TAKE HIM DIRECTLY TO EMERGENCY ROOM. 

HERE IS A HUGE SECRECT I havent shared with ANYONE...I was/truly am so filled with stress,  watching him breathe and check on him about every hour on the hour...when he sleeps I would do anything for my husband my bestfriend.

FYI

(because) 1-09 He started to sweat on top of his big beautiful BALD HEAD!  Like he ran a marathon and he was just sitting on our sofa..,  not speakingcorrectly as he normally has..glassy eyes slurred speech and When I asked him a simple question like" What day is it today?  He would say or sound like "MAMAH I AM NOT sure MAybe..." So he couldnt even say ONE SENTENCE! FLASH MY GRANDMA FROM ALABAMA died from a MAJOR STROKE...Inside my head OMG OMG WHAT DO I DO?  I cant handle this...I need help...I cant even pick him up and bring him in our car....Please dont DIE BABY This all in my head and I was so crazed and then......

ONLY 1 x Did I ever call 911 which as you just read above PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HAVE PROPER MEDICAL TRAINING are helpless/  I was so helpless/and my whole body is still feeling so helpless and REALIZE in this big huge world I am just a small dot.

Back in 2009... I HAD  A BATTLE TO DO THIS BECAUSE FOR ME I WAS SAYING TO MYSELF  am I reading this situation correctly?  I dont want to call 911 and it turns out to be nothing ETC>  MY ADVICE TO ALL OF YOU DONT THINK FOR ONE SECOND YOUR PERCEPTION IS WRONG..911 is there with TRAINED PROFESSIONALS. 

DURING A MEDICAL CRISIS ITS better to have EMT and all those that come with Bloodpressure pumps etc and when I did it they came in and STARTED AN IV RIGHT IN MY HOUSE!!!

 (and)  THANK GOODNESS I DID  he was rushed to the Hospital..and in 1-2009 they found a bloodclot on the top of his HEART. HE HAS BEEN ON COUMIDIM since then and my anxiety truly has started secrectly inside so so scared I can loose my BESTFRIEND at anytime. 

How Ironic I finally have found PEACE LOVE AND BLISS in my life and now MEDICAL CONDITIONS SEVERE according to our GPDOC Tommy's HEART is "pretty bad"

I had a terrible bad dream of a family member who passed away and they went in my mind and said I am here for "TOMMY"  I woke up and ran into the other room and he was snoring THANK GOD FOR HIS SNORE!~
I went back to bed and said A WHOLE LOT OF PRAYERS...

Thats all for now ILL KEEP YOU POSTED!

xox