Hi to ALL of you.Its been quiet awhile since I'v logged on  and I truley have missed you all. My entire life has changed since I last blogged,some things are better and some worse.I guess thats all just a part of life we ALL have our ups and downs so theres no use staying in the "PITY PARTY MODE".I know its OK to vent your problems out and this is a perfect place to do that,but its not good for anyone to be down all the time.I know because I was just like that for quiet awhile and then it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was causing my health problems to be worse rather than getting better.I keep in mind everyday that no matter how bad I may feel with the pain and dealing with it ."THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WORSE THAN ME AND I MAY COULD DO SOMETHING TO HELP THEM" . My Grandmother always told me that God will NEVER give me more than can handle and even though it dosen't always seem like thats true I know in my heart that it is .... My pain is still about the same so I won't bother to go into that. I will say that the VERY WORSe thing that I have had to go thru is that my Dad had to go into a nursing home.I tried to fight my brothers with all thats in me but like they said I am already disable and he had gotten to the point that he couldn't walk anymore or remember what day it was,or even if he had eaten or not, plus when he would fall I would have to call someone for help.I do go see him everyday that I can and I realize that they were right,I am not able to take care of him. It has been very hard getting use to him not being here,he has been gone since September and I am jusst really getting alittle adjusted,at first I couldn't even make myself eat,I just felt so useless and lost.But then it hit me that I HAD to snap out of it,at least I can still go see him and as hard as it is to think about it could very well be worse,Thank God it isn't. (not yet anyway).What I am getting at is how BLESSED I AM,EVEN WHEN IT DOSEN"T FEEL LIKE I AM I REALLY AM TRULEY BLESSED !!!!!! ( even with the pain).So PLEASE everyone when you get to feeling down,just look up to your higher power and say Ok this is enough I can't take much more,I need a break NOW!!!! Thats what I do. I'm sorry if I was rambling on . I hope this has helped someone out there......LOVE TO YOU ALL Jamie w