I gave birth almost 2 months ago by C-section and I lost most of the weight I gained (I'd like to keep the pounds I still have on me because I was too skinny before I got pregnant). Anyway, my hip size changed, and I'm not talking about fat I'm talking about bone structure, so I thought I'd ask before I spend a ridiculous amount on jeans and pants whether my hips will ever be the same again....

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Barry  returned from a doctor's visit one day and told  his wife,  Carolyn,  the doctor said that he only had 24 hours to live.Wiping  away her tears, he  asked her to make love with him.  Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said:'Honey, now I only have 18  hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?' Carolyn agreed and again they made love.Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realized he now had only eight...

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I don't know what to call it... baby blues, post-partum depression but I know it feels aweful. My 19 day old baby girl has had a cold since yesterday and has been coughing and sneezing almost non stop. Thankfully, there's no fever, but it kills me to see her like this, especially since she's been colicky since she was born. It makes me think how horrible it must be to have lived in a pain-free...

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FOR SALE BY OWNER   Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica  45 volumes. Excellent condition  $1,000 or best offer.   Reason for sale: No Longer Needed   Got Married Last Month.  Wife Knows Everything.  

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WOMAN'S POEM:Before I lay me down to sleep,I pray for a man who's not a creep,One who's handsome, smart and strong.One who loves to listen long,One who thinks before he speaks,One who'll call, not wait for weeks.I pray he's rich and self-employed,And when I spend, won't be annoyed.Pull out my chair and hold my hand.Massage my feet and help me stand.Oh send a king to make me queen.A man who loves to cook and clean.I...

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               The boss wonderedwhy one of his    most valued employees was absent but had not phoned insick one day. Needing    to have an urgent problem with one of the maincomputers resolved, he dialed    the employee's home phone number and was greetedwith a child's whisper.    "   Hello    ? ""Is your daddy home?"    he asked."Yes    ," whisperedthe small    voice.May I talk with him?"The child whispered,    "No    ."Surprised and...

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Baby Serene was born on 2/6/2009 at 8:40pm. I had an emergency C-section because her heart beat kept dropping with each contraction. She's ADORABLE God bless her, but I'm not able to bond with her because of my wound. More news and pics when I'm well enough to sit on the computer :) Hanah PS: she has LOOOOONG hair :D

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I'm around a week past my due date and still no sign of the little one... Apparently, I've made things a little too comfortable for her, so she REFUSES to come out :D My doctor's making me drink castor oil tomorrow as a last resort (I found a strawberry flavored one), then I have an appointment to be induced on Wednesday at 7am and I must say I'm starting to get pretty nervous. I asked a nurse today about...

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I'm due tomorrow but I doubt my little one will come out any time soon... I've tried EVERY documented way to naturally induce labor from pineapple binging to sex marathons to walking a zillion miles to going up flights of stairs to pushing certain reflex points that supposedly trigger labor and I still feel not days but weeks away from delivering. Don't judge me for wanting my baby out, but I've gotten so sick of...

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Please put up with me just a little longer (I assume I won't be pregnant forever eventhough it feels like it). I was just at the doctors after waking up with horrible period-like cramps that spread to my back. After a few days of brownish discharge, extreme braxton hicks, nesting, massive pain in my vajaijai (excuse my french), I was SURE this was it. After an ultrasound and a pelvic exam, it turns out it...

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THE WORLD'S SHORTEST & HAPPIEST FAIRY TALE           *Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"       *The girl said, "NO!"       *And the guy lived happily ever after and played soccer, playstation and golf a lot and drank beer and had s***loads of money and farted whenever he wanted.           THE END

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I'm due in 25 days and I was hoping for some advice from moms... I've been to the E.R. twice last week because I've been having braxton hicks every ten minutes or so (I read that I have to call the Dr. if I have more than 4 per hour), accompanied by SEVERE pain down there (like needles stabbing me), nausea, and a little bit of brown discharge (old blood). Both times I knew I...

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At first I thought it was my pregnancy hormones playing tricks on me... I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I don' t recall being this mad in a long time. My parents are currently separated, thanks to the "other woman" in dad's life. My mom, who is an ANGEL, got married young, graduated from PACE (pregnant adolescents continuing education), and dedicated the past 30 years of her life being...

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In the world of romance, ONLY one single rule applies to the men: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system: <font color="#ff0000"><font color="#ff0000">SIMPLE DUTIES</font></font>You make the bed (+1)You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)You...

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I'm a month away from giving birth to a baby and I've started a dilemma ever since the midwife at my hospital told me that I have the option to give my baby the Hepatitis B vaccination as soon as she is born. Should I vaccinate my child? Many new researches are saying that vaccines are harmful and may cause autism or even paralysis. I'm very conflicted about this decision and I wonder if I'll ever regret...

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One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.He said: 'My son, the battle is between 'two wolves' inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.'The grandson thought about it for a minute,...

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1.Losing all your friends Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him.Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.' 2. Brother wanted  A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,'send me a brother'....Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'..... 3. Meaning of WIFE  Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'Wife replies, 'No,...

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Hey! I missed blogging but I've been so busy lately. I'm finally back home living with my mom till D Day arrives (which should be in around a month). I'm keeping busy with maternity yoga classes and more frequent doctors appointments and last minute baby shopping. Thank God all is well with baby Serena... I'm thinking of calling her Serene in stead (which is weird because she's such a hyper little one and is anything...

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As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroomdoor, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming fromwithin. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you doing?'The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five yearsold, unmarried, and this thing is about as close asI'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away andleave me alone.'The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzzcoming from the other side of...

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 A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem. > I have two female parrots, > > > But they only know how to say one thing.' > > 'What do they say?' the priest inquired.> > They say, > > 'Hi, we're hookers! > > Do you want to have some fun?' > > That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed, > > Then he thought for a moment. > 'You know,' he said, > > 'I may...

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