Forums July 6, 2009 - Summer Hazards Fear of OB/GYN

Fear of OB/GYN

Subscribe to Fear of OB/GYN 10 posts, 7 voices


Icon_missing_medium Nalissa 1 post

I’m not afraid of the medical profession, or of getting shots or blood drawn, the OB though, petrifies me. I’ve had three kids and the only time I go to the OB/GYN is during my pregnancies, and even then I’m unable to go through the routine exams. I panic, it becomes painful, and it really is the most terrifying experience I’ve ever had. At the hospital, once I get an epidural and can’t feel what’s going on… only then am I able to be examined. I hate that I’m like this, and I wish it were as easy as just turning off a switch, but unfortunately there’s no switch for me turn off… but it is a little easier knowing that there are some people out there who are similar to me.

Icon_missing_medium suzantn 1 post

That girl on the show today that is afraid of doctors could have been me except I am a bit older than her. I am 53 and am terrified of having a mamogram. I have only had one and it was 10 years ago and it was the most horrible experience. I know I need to have another one but I am petrified to do so. I am also afraid of the OB/GYN. I went not long ago but it had been 6 years suince I had been. I got so sick the day I was suppose to go to the Dr and even still felt sick days later. It petrifies me. LIke the girl on the show, I have been like this since childhood. I was petrified of my pediatrician. I have had 3 kids and I did make sure I went for my prenatal exams because I was putting my baby first. I have also had an ectopic pregnancy and a hysterechtomy and I am still petrified of going. It scares me to death and I can’t get past this fear.

Icon_missing_medium sabba 1 post

My hat’s off to the gal who braved half of the exam that she was afraid of. I wish I had some of that courage. I am also terrified and wish I was not. I don’t have any fear of needles and currently go to the doctor only in emergency situations but the ob/gyn is a whole different story. My first visit to an ob/gyn was when I found out I was pregnant. My last visit would have been at the three week check after the birth of my daughter nearly 21 years ago but the threat of an ambulance coming for me due to hemmoraging sent me back one more time. That was 19 years ago. I wish I could get past the fear and intimidation, but I sure don’t see it happening soon. Thankfully I’m a fairly healthy person. Since I’ve never done this before (got on any message boards) I just wanted to commend the young lady on the show for the guts it must have taken to do it.

Icon_missing_medium katidid7000 2 posts

I can really feel for you ladies, though I am not in the same position as you or the woman on the show. I am the opposite. I moved to Colorado in May 2007 and decided it was time to get a physical since I really hadn’t had one since my hysterectomy in 2004. I brought in my list of things to talk about and now over 100 doctor visits later I am still going. I was misdiagnosed in California only for the doctors here in Colorado to find a 4 cm tumor on my pancreas. After my surgery I thought I was done only to be told I needed to see an oncologist because one lymp node was “positive”. That surgery in Sept 2008 went great and loved my surgeon and would go back to him in a heart beat if I ever needed to again. In December 2008 I went in for a stress test on the treatmill only to realize that it was time to have my back looked at. It had been bothering me for many years. This surgery was just June 2 so I am still healing. Now my blood work is all messed up so here I go for more appts. It seems like I am at one doctor or another at least once a week. There are times when I wonder if I should have ever opened this can of worms, but for my family’s sake I take one day at a time. My oldest sister died of breast cancer because she didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. She lived alone and her lack of seeing a doctor cost her her life. My youngest son is about to start high school in August and I really want to be around to see him graduate from college and have grand kids. I know it is easy for me to sit here and say just bite your lip and go to the doctor, and I don’t want to make light of your fears, but please go and get checked out. Your life could really be saved by going. My thoughts and prayers are with you all who don’t want to see a doctor.

Icon_missing_medium greensleeves 2 posts

I was really disappointed in this episode.  In what dream world do these folks exist where a doctor will take hours and hours to help you get over your fear, give you hugs and call you her “girlfriend”?  Sorry, this was so artificial.  The causes of this woman’s fear were glossed over, and she was not given any real tools to use in dealing with the real world of real doctors. 

I also must take issue with the doctor who said the patient is in charge and can always say “no”.  Medical personnel frequently do not tell you what they are going to do before they do it, or they tell you in a very rushed way and do not let you consider what they are saying before they just go ahead and do it.  Very invasive things have been done to me, and I left the office feeling humiliated and so stupid for not speaking up more quickly to stop them.  I’m tired of being in a situation where I feel I can’t protect myself.  This is why I attempt never to see a doctor.  I really do think I’d rather die than be so helpless again.

Icon_missing_medium OlderMum 12 posts

Oh good Lord, you’ve got to be kidding me greensleeves. You need a new doctor if he or she is doing things to you that you don’t want them to. Or press charges if what they are doing is illegal. And you also need to learn to speak up for yourself. You’d sooner die of cancer or some other horrid disease than see a doctor? Just think of how many people will read this and feel extremely angered or deeply hurt and insulted because they are seeing their doctor regularly while battling a life threatening disease and would give ANYTHING to be able to live. I hope you are never put into a position where you need to challenge this “I really do think I’d rather die than be so helpless again” way of thinking. If you think your life sucks so bad, then maybe you do need to see a doctor who can help you with your problems and make you see that life is worth living. With a statement like the last one you made in your post, it seems like you’ve never had someone close to you die of a terminal illness; otherwise, you’d never have said that.

Icon_missing_medium greensleeves 2 posts

Actually Older Mum – one of my first memories as a child is of someone close to me dying of a terminal illness.  When I was 6, my 4 year old brother had Hodgkins disease.  I do remember how he was strapped down, frightened and screaming, in order to receive his treatments.  I remember him hating the doctors and the two of us plotting at night to run away.  That was my introduction to the medical world.  BTW – he died anyway.  Lots of bad things, in other words, no good.

I’m sorry you cannot understand or empathize with people who struggle with this fear.  Your impatient reply and mocking tone don’t help things. I (We) have all heard those same words all our lives.

Icon_missing_medium favoriteshw 1 post

Fear is real and we shd not  think that it is no big thing, because to the individual it is REAL.   I have not had a mamogram, and, I am still thinking about it  all these years, because of all the horror stories I have heard on how painful the proceedure is.  As dangerous an they say XRAYS are I would rather risk that.

Icon_missing_medium katidid7000 2 posts

Greensleeves, I am sorry to hear about your loss so long ago, though it must still seem like yesterday. Though there are times we elevate doctors to the point where they can cure anything at any time when in reality we know that isn’t true. We very rarely see that side to them when they did all they could and it still wasn’t good enough. We need to keep in mind they are human just like we are and sickness doesn’t play favorites. They get sick just like we do and at times it is harder on them then it is on us since they know more then we ever could. They say doctors make the worst patients and to some extent I believe that.
I too have had some very bad experiences with doctors, and even walked out of a place that looked like there were weird things going on behind the closed doors. Yes to some extent we have the power to get up and say no and there are times we have to just sit back and go along for the ride. Yes there are some bad doctors but from what I have seen over the last 15 months, there are a lot more good. I changed a doctor mid stream because I felt the first one didnt care but the second one made me feel more comfortable even after our first meeting (in the OR). My first surgeon spent over 2 hours with me explaining what he was going to do and for each possibility that could arrise all this with a waiting room full of other patients. I know good doctors can be hard to find, but they are out there and life should always be chosen over death.

Icon_missing_medium OlderMum 12 posts

Hey greensleeves. I’m not mocking you. The fear is genuine, I believe that. But what I don’t agree with is your public posting of the fact that you’d rather die then seek medical intervention. Think of all the people out there whose very lives depend on the good doctors and nurses in the medical industry. They are afraid of what the future holds for them. They don’t need to hear people say that it’s better to die then to get medical help. You wouldn’t regail a soon-to-be new mom of the horrors of labour, the pain of birth, and the misery of sleepless nights and all the possible things that can go wrong in the process. You’d offer your congratulations and try to offer her reassurance. This is even more true for someone facing a terminal illness. You’d offer to help them in anyway possible – rides to their appointments, prepared meals, housecleaning, a hairwash even, or just a shoulder to cry on. They don’t need to hear the horrors of other people’s experience and the unwise choices they would make.

I’m sorry about the loss of your brother. It must have been so difficult to have seen him suffer this way, and it’s sad that this is the memory you have of your brother.

I’m not perfect and in no way am I pretending to be. I have my own hangups. All my adult life I’ve had a thing called vaginismus which has made pap smears and internal examinations painful if not impossible, conception possible only after lots of relaxation exercises, childbirth impossible without LOTS of drugs, and even insertion of a tampon painful sometimes. It’s entirely psychological just as your fear of the doctor is. I’ve been to therapy for it and I have the power in me to fix it. I know all too well the abnormal fear that can develop as a result of a bad experience with something. We just have to be conscience of other people and how our fears can be passed on to them if we’re not careful. I doubt you’d want anyone else to have the same fear of the ob/gyn that you do. I know I wouldn’t wish what I have on my worst enemy.

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Forums July 6, 2009 - Summer Hazards Fear of OB/GYN



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