I have written before that I have a 18 year old son. I love him more than life, but as most of us realize we as parents cannot protect them from all of the lessons that life has to teach. Relationships between long time friends can be shattered by rumors and sometimes girlfriends. My son has been dating a young girl for two years and I have nothing against her. My husband and I are constantly making sure they are not getting too close (a difficult task) because they are too young. Some of my son's friends thought that my son's girlfriend was not treating him well and one evening a friend told him that his girlfriend had cheated on him twice in the past year. This of couse started alot of trouble and his girlfriend said that it wasn't true. I told him that he would have to talk with his girlfriend and make his own decision about it. I do think that his friends handled the rumors the wrong way. My son and his girlfriend worked things out and are still together, but many of his friends won't talk to him. I beleive that they were expecting them to breakup and when that didn't happen they may have felt betrayed, I'm not sure. I just hate to see frienships that he has had for 10 or more years destroyed. I don't want to interfere Because I know that what he is learning now is how to handle his emotions and this will help him to mature to handle all of the situations that life will throw out at him. I pray for him and give him advice when I think its needed, but ultimately these are tough life lessons that all teens will go through.
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Beryld It is not just hard being a teenager it is also diffucult to be a parent. I have learned unless they ask for your advice don't give it when it has to do with girlfriends or friends. When you get in the middel you always end up the bad guy. It is hard at 18 to control any thing they do. If he is living at home he should follow house rules. As far as his friends don't worry they will get back together or he has a long time to make new life time friends. And as you know when people are young they know all about love and beleive it is for ever so at this point all you can do is support him and make him follow your rules in the home.
Smile
Sheilah
This post caught my eye, I raised 4 children. 3 sons, one ADHD, one with a LD and ADHD and one who was well kinda crazy fun. I have a daughter who is grown and looking at schools now, took 2 years off to coach gymnastics.
Boys at this age must make the decision about thier friends. I always have talked to my kids on their terms. Sometimes they were very open, other times the door was closed to me. One thing I found is find the best time to really have a heart to heart with your son. About life, about his goals, what he loves, maybe his side of the friends. I had a similar issue one friend of my son's out of the blue started rumors after HS graduation and after 4 years of friendship, all was off and 5 years later it still is a broken friendship. It was due to rumors, and he wanted my son's g/f. She chose my son, married and have a 22 month old. Pick a good time, I had one son that was a 1 am talker, I would stay up watching tv and he would stroll in and we could chat up a storm alone in the livingroom. My oldest, talked to me in the car, with his ADHD we had to wait until very late in life to really talk. He was a challenge. But, he teaches others about ADHD in our family and why meds worked for him. How they helped him to be able to concentrate and learn. Also have friends, because he wasn't scatterbrained. My other son and I have a very special bond. He can read me like a book. I can do the same. Talking came easy. Find that special thing, bowling, rock climbing, what ever it is...and have a heart to heart. He might be 18 but doesn't know what to do and needs some help or advice.
Good luck, I know you will find a way through. Mary Kay
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