Hi everyone. I have just recently joined the site and now feel that I need to write something. I am new at all this computer stuff but will eventually catch on. When I first started surfing the site, reading blogs and getting updates on the shows that I missed the day before; I found a blog posted by Winddancer on July 01 regarding her (I believe it was) daughter along with some other comments attached to the blog. In my profile page I indicated that I was about to make a huge decision that would change my life. Although I was not involved in a physically abusive relationship, I was married to a man for darn near 6 years (August 23) who is an alcoholic. He was emotionally abusive and has been suffering from his illness for a long time. We ended up having a fight on August 07 (last Friday) and it was the last straw. When I got up for work on Saturday morning I did not go back home. I dropped my son off at my mom's and we are now staying there until I get settled and get my feet back underneath me. I have been writing my own personal "diary" at work and I think that I was working up to this but once I read this blog by Winddancer I really took her advice to heart and was going to react on it. However, I was only going to talk to him on the Sunday but the blow up ended up being Friday. I feel better than I have in over 3 years. My smile is sincere again and I show it off freely. My mind is not running 24/7. It was not a nasty separation and it is very sad because he is a super guy and has a big heart. I am very proud to announce that he is going for help and will get better. I have started to go to counseling and am feeling wonderful about it (and I have only gone once).
So I too agree that if you are in ANY type of abusive relationship, you need to leave. You need to watch out for Number One and if you have children, they need you too, because in some cases they can't do it themselves.
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Dear AJ, you came to the right place at the right time. Winddancer, Diana, is one of our more prolific writers. She has been through much in her young life. You are both right about not staying through abise. My sister put up with it and her son wound up in jail. i don't know that that was the reason, but I am sure it added to the heat. My mother (now deceased, so I am not breaking her anonimity) was an alcoholic. She quit drinking when I was 10, but she retained her "alcoholic personality". You have done the best thing for yourself and especially for your son. You love both your men enough to get out before it got worse and I applaud you. You should read everything Diana has written. We keep urging her to write a book and I bellieve she is going to. I wish you much luck and happiness. there are many great people on here and you will make friends quickly. Bobbie
So glad to hear you took yourself and your son out of a bad situation. Emotional abuse is the worst type of abuse (I think) because it always makes you wonder if you are over reacting to an innocent comment. My daughter is in an abusive marriage and suffers regular panic attacks. When I asked her if she understood he was abusing her, she defended him. I know that is a normal response but I hope she finds your courage soon.
You're one strong lady. Hang in there.
Well good for you for putting yourself and kids first.You deserve a good life.I was married to an alcoholic and had 2 small children he was also abusive(mostly mental)He could be a good man when he wasn't drinking,but that was very rare.One day took my kids and left.Have a great man now we have been married 17yrs and together for 19.Also welcome to the site and for sharing your story.I am sure when Winddancer gets back on and reads your blog,she will be happy to hear what you wrote.I hope you husband gets the help and stays with it.The father of my kids died at the age of 48 from drinking.
Take care.
AJ,
Wow, good for you! What you did took a lot of strength, and I'm glad you are smiling again! Welcome to the site, your new blog is very powerful and I think it will help others in a similiar situation as you were to see there is another way and that they can take control of their lives and make it better! Thank you for sharing your courage.
Michele
bravo for you that took alot of courage to take the right step torwards a better life this site is a great place for any kind of support
hugs
lisa
You got that right Oddone. I still will start to wonder if I was overreacting, but I know that I wasn't. Actually I think it might have been the biggest favour I could have ever done for him, because he now has the courage to get better.
Thank you all for your kind and great words. My goal is that I will too be able to help someone. It is a really rough decision and I also found myself defending him at times and I sure am glad that I took Theatre Arts in High School because I became an awful good actor. I am a better woman and he will be a better man for this. Thanks again and I look forward to being able to talk to everyone and see what is new and exciting every day.
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