forgot password?
   |   
join the community
Bookmark and Share

Thomas E's Blog

Over comliance with Drs to point of make one sick

Hind site is wonderful or is it? I have always done what my doctors have told me to do with medication, physical and emotional rehab and anything they thought might help me be or stay healthy. Now i wonder if I ask the right questions, did not do enough asking of questions. I have taken methatrexate to help desensatis my lungs because of lung fungus that had began to grow. The list of experimental drugs i have been given would fill a small book. Yes, I know now that i am a social compliance nut, society and upbringing placed that mind set in place when i was little. What was given to keep me healthy, may be my down fall. I have worked sense i was 11 years old was never sick, didnt miss a day of work . 3-21-1991 my live changed for ever a truck wreck that took my life away. Broken neck, left knee injury, left shoulder, facial disfiguremant, nerve damage to neck and left arm from shoulder down, corpral tunnel syndrom and lumbar bulged disk inoperable. Leaving me very messed person. With all the medications and surgeries they put the parts back together, I am left with a body I am ashamed of people judge me because of my looks, they say they dont it is to catch the lies. I am fighting COPD's, Asthma, High Blood pressure, High cholestoral, and then Depression with anxiety and panic attacks, social anxiety disorder to the point of self isolation. I stay in my house 24/7 a lot of time in my bedroom with no TV. I got to the point of not trusting anyone or Doctors at all, my anxiety gets so bad when i try to go to church my face brakes out in huge red rash and now that i am on oxzgen 24/7 it is worse. If could take back the hands of time I would, but I can not. I have began studing cultures, and deviant behaviors and have found out I am not alone in my life situation. In conclusion I have been inlightened to the fact the my over comliance to others and poor decission making skill got me to were i am at right now in life. I have learned to ask more questions, and to take care of just my life. Be there for your family no matter how disfunctional they are and let GOD take care of the rest Just thoughts from a lonely person in bad health because I didnt ask question. thomas

Post Comments

Add Your Comment!

Log in to leave a comment or Create an account

Sinduhrella

When you first wrote to me, your name made me think of "T.S. Eliot".  Thomas Elliott, you sir have nothing to be ashamed of!  We all have problems in our lives... some of us just deal with them differently.  People judge you?  How about.. to hell with the people who place a label on your for being something other than their idea of perfect?  Do not spend another thought on someone who can't see the beauty that is within you!  You are a kind and gentle man who just wants understanding and friendship from the people around him.  Nothing wrong with that.  Too many people in this world shoot off their mouths before their brains are loaded.  As hurtful as some of it can be, understand you are in God image.  To him, you are perfect.  Does anyone else really matter?  I know loneliness.  The feeling of just wanting to be loved for who and what you are.  Know this Mr. Elliott, so many people love you, you just don't know it.  I look at your picture and see a warm, loving, kind beautiful man.  As you said to me "Don't worry, be happy!"  Don't keep yourself in the house, go out and enjoy the beauty of the world.  The sun will shine on you and make you feel wonderful!!!!!!  I'm sorry for the things that have happened to you, and the meds you have to now take because of that.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers!  *hugs*  <3

~Lisa

Sinduhrella
The Story-
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.  His bed was next to the room's only window.  The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end.  They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.. Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.  The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.  The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.  Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.  As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.  One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.  Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. 
Sinduhrella

Days, weeks and months passed.  One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.  She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.  As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.  He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.  It faced a blank wall.  The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.  The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.  She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

Maybe you can venture out into the sun and be thankful for all the things you still have the ability to see.  Let the light shine down on you and bring focus on the brighter side of life.

*hugs*

» All comments
» Comments RSS
Spinner Loading recent content...