Hi!  I am a very hopeful Woman. I am hopeful of the right Drs and/or Scientists coming up with something to stop my pain... Everyday, all day, some days are worse than others. My 'Livelyhood' basically consists of Dr appts.. In Feb of this year, 2010, I moved from Florida to Wisconsin to try and get more help. I am sooo hopeful. I moved away from my Son's and am missing them terribly. One of the HARDEST things that I have ever had to do...  They are 22 and 26, but they are what I have lived for half of my Lifetime. They have their hopes for me also. And I have my hopes for them. In 1990 I went thru a rape, and shortly after, I found out that I had Lupus. I didn't really know what it was at the time, I just knew that it wasn't going to slow ME down, or change MY life... wow. In '94 my first Husband and I divorced. The rape had just taken its' toll. It was so sad, and I know it was most Definitely the Hardest thing that He and I ever went thru in Our lives. We did not want that divorce - at all. But, We didn't know what to do to save it? I think that We were so emotionally drained, that We just gave up. Since then, I've been diagnosed with Sarcoidosis, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Uveitis (which scares me more than all the rest!), Depression, Asthma, Bronchitis, COPD, IBS and am loosing my teeth because of Prednisone for 20 yrs. I've refused to take it anymore. My teeth are breaking off. And, did I say I'm in constant pain??! lol  I've been staying with friends since I got here, and they've got alot of children around here. But I think that has probably been kinda good for me, it kind of takes my 'mind off things'... When I left Florida, I also divorced a brutal man that I unfortunately had married, and now, 7 yrs later, am being told that I'm suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome from all of the abuse. And, I was on some real High doses of Oxycontin and Oxycodone and am FINALLY just about done with them. It's been a roller-coaster kind of year, but I PROMISED my Son's that I would get off the Oxycontin and Oxycodone, AND that I would quit smoking. I have done the latter! And I am sooo proud to be a non-smoker now! The Dr here has me taking Lyrica and now Tramadone, as the Lyrica helped, but I still have ALOT of breakthru pain, so the Tramadone helps sometimes. Just not always, unfortunately. The Lyrica put 27 lbs on me in 3 WEEKS... REALLY NOT happy about that at all... I'm hoping, that when I get into my own place in 2 weeks, and on MY OWN diet, I will be able to loose that and then some. I do shop for good foods, but it just doesn't last more than a couple of days with all the children she has and the grand children also. I'm on Social Security Disability, and I can't shop more than once a month. I get only $800- a month, and can't buy that much. So it disappears. I'm really not complaining, just explaining. I absolutely Love vegetables and fruits and 7 grain breads, and honey as a sweetener, and FISH, and Chicken, etc... Families diets are all different, and this one is alot of .....just plain ole junk food. It's really a no wonder mine disappears... But, what do You do? I'm hoping also that I can get my health to the point of having the ability to work again. I miss my Salon intensely. I had the nicest little Salon in a Hospital in the town that I lived in, and they treated me soooo good there. I just Loved it. It was open to the Public, so I had my Clientele, and it was a Pleasure doing the hair of People IN the Hospital. Their smiles will always be remembered. I NEVER charged them. I just couldn't. How do You charge someone that is down and out and in the Hospital? Or worse yet, dying? There was just no way. The Administration felt that I should, and I understand where they were coming from... but I felt that I was given a Wonderful Opportunity, and it was my way of giving back. Then in '01, 11yrs after being diagnosed with the Lupus, and after 24 yrs of doing hair, ...I crashed... I had no choice but to close the Salon. One of the Saddest Days of my Life. I was sooo sick though, and sooo tired. My back was to the point where I could hardly stand anymore. So I ended-up with my first Back Surgery, and 2 months later, my appendix ruptured. Another - wow. Then, 3 months after that, I had another emergency with a strangulated hernia.  It laid me up for quite some time. I had another Back Surgery in '08, and this time they put what they called, a 'Cage' in my lower back.  So You see, things have GOT to get better... Better Luck with this Health of mine has GOT to come. I'm just getting too tired, and when I am a Grandmother, I'd really like to be a 'Normal' one....  or at least close to normal! I've got some goals, and with New Drs working on me, Hopefully,  I'll get to work one day soon. I just want to get 'fixed', so badly. If You can think of any help, Please let me know? I would like my Livelyhood back... Someone told me once that when You turn 40, You fall apart. I didn't believe them, and I laughed. Well, I turned 40 in '00, and just look at what the last 10 yrs have been... I'm sure that marriage didn't help my Health... PLEASE let better things be for my 50's!! I just really want to be 'me' again. I miss me...  ~Thank-You!   ~Suzette.