NOW WHAT?
©Sheri Liegh Adams November 3, 2011

Stress...we all know the word and it strikes fear into the deepest hearts of most  people when said out loud.  Just tell a group of people that today's topic is going  to be about Stress and the groans can be heard aloud.  Never mind the fact that  the meeting will likely good, informative and helpful, the word stress isteslf brings  to mind all the things that have happened to us or around us over the past few  days or even years.  Our first thought is dread.

Despite the dread, you go to the meeting.  Various people share how they cope  with the stress in their life.  One man says he has a beer or two; another lady  says she becomes a chain smoker; another person said they go out with friends to  get drunk; another person calls a crisis line or a friend and so on.  Great, now that  the bad stuff is out in the open and people are feeling stressed, where do we go  from here?

What are some POSITIVE ways you could use to deal with stress may be the next  question in order.  That's what I am going to share with you - the positive ways to  cope with stress. 

We  could stomp our feet, slam doors, tell at people, get drunk, go and do the  illegal and deadly drugs, go and smoke until the air around you becomes blue with  smoke, bang the walls etc., but to what end?  All any of those are going to is to  bring your mood down even further.  You will feel bad because you drank too  much, did illegal drugs, smoked too many cigaretttes, put a whole in the wall etc.

POSITIVE COPING TECHNIQUES
For the person who is physical and may punch walls or throw things around:
get out for a brisk walk
do some workout in your home
clean your home
get involved in some physical sports on a regular basis such as football,  basketball, volleyball
slam a pillow on your bed...it'll get rid of any bugs and releive your frustration too
get out of your home - go get groceries, go for a walk, go to a mall, go to the  YMCA or the Librarary
join an anger management course

For the person who would do drugs, drink alcohol or smoke:
Keep your hands busy.  Pick up a couple of hobbies.  The following is a short list  of hobbies that keep your hands very busy keeping your mind busy:
Crochet or Knitting
Sewing
Painting
Calligraphy
Wood carving
Playing a musical instrument
Cook up a meal for you or for somebody in need
Volunteer to help somewhere
Pet your cat/dog...or play with them
Clean/organize your home
Colour
Draw
Write in a journal of gratitude all the things you have been blessed with
Play/work on the computer doing something
Design clothes for dolls
Call a distress centre or a friend
Do laundry
Give yourself a home spa treatment

The more positive techniques you have to utilize, the more likely you are to  handle stress with less trouble than if you have nothing to do when it suddenly  hits you.  Me, I have collages or the things I enjoy hanging around my living room,  kitchen and bathroom.  I don't have any in my bedroom because that is where I  sleep and I don't want to be stimulated for  ideas there.  Even so, I keep a  micro-cassette recorder, pencil and pad just in case.

Another good idea would be to find a support group to attend.  Find a group on  learning to cope with stress and other life issues.  A good one to keep in mind is  the WRAP - WELLNESS RECOVERY ACTION PLAN.  It is a plan for dealing with  these situations.

Be honest with your doctor if you feel like you are getting overwhelmed.  Talk with  him/her about getting cousenling or what they suggest you do. 

So what do I do?  I crochet, play piano, write articles, write poetry, write blogs,  read my self help books, attend support groups, go to the Self Esteem and WRAP  groups at the CMHA, volunteer when my back is not hurting, participate in other  support groups, see my doctors on a regular basis,  get out of my apartment every  day even if it is just across the street to buy a diet coke and back.  Fresh air  clears the cobwebs my mom used to tell me.  She's right.  Sometimes if the snow  is too deep to go anywhere, I'll just open my balcony door and let the cold air in  until the air in my apartment is cooler and fresh  I listen to music almost  constantly.  I only watch the news 1-2 times each week.  I don't allow phone calls  after 10 unless it is an emergency.  I restrict the number of phone calls I'll take  from anybody in a day.  I play on my computer, participate on some great online  websites - www.sparkpeople.com www.facebook.com Christians In Recovery  FaithWriters and more

I keep myself busy because if my mind is busy it doesn't have time to go over and  over things that havev bothered me.  Sometimes I'll make a list of the things  bothering me and then set it aside until it is time to see my psychiatrist or family  doctor so we can talk about things.  But when the list is done, I set it aside and  forget about it.  I love to help other people learn to love themselves the way I  was taught and am still learning.

The old saying ATTITUDE IS A LITTLE THING THAT MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE is  true beyond what we will ever know.  If you are stressed, or frustrated or any of  those negatiave emotions that drain you, look at the list above for ideas or  inspiration.  There is sure to be something there that appeals to you.  If not, get  creative and find something that does appeal to you and get it working for you.

Here is a list I got from a friend in emails one day.  There is sure to be something  here for you:
1. Read a book.
2. Wash the car.
3. Wash the dog.
4. Go for a walk.
5. Knit a scarf.
6. Do a crossword puzzle.
7. Take a nap.
8. Call a friend.
9. Post a message online somewhere.
10. Play with the cat.
11. Turn the bathroom into a spa and do all those beauty treatments.
12. Listen to a relaxation tape or some favorite music.
13. Go to a store and get a free make-up session.
14.Give yourself a manicure and pedicure.
15. Try out a new hair-do
16. Chew some ice pieces
17. Go to the movies.
18. Hang out at a mall.
19. Do a jigsaw puzzle online at Jigzone.com
20. Breathe deeply!
21. Swig down some ice water.
22. Jump on a treadmill or go to a gym.
23. Give someone you love a huge hug.
24. Plant some flowers.
25. Do some exercise - swimming, aerobics, yoga, etc. Great for releasing  endorphins (feel good factor) and relieving stress (physical and mental).
26. Work out how to post a picture in a forum!
27. Take up a new hobby/interest - channel your thoughts into something  constructive and interesting.
28. Work in the garden.
29. Retail therapy with the cash you saved from not (smoking, drinking, etc).
30. Suck on a piece of TART candy (Jolly Rancher is my personal favorite).
31. Slather on a rich, creamy hand lotion and rub, rub, rub! It keeps fingers busy,  and reminds you how nice it is not to have tobacco stink on them.
32. Eat a popscicle.
33. Floss and brush your teeth.
34. Take time to spend with your special somebody and do something special, just  the two of you.
35. Chew gum.
36. Chew a toothpick (shiny teeth, and mint smelling breath of course).
37. Spend time with a kid.
38. Give yourself a treat every dayl.
39. Spend an hour filling the paddling pool in the garden on a gorgeous sunny day,  only to find that the kids would rather play on the computer.
40. Play several games of something you like, and hopefully win one!
41. Walk in an old graveyard with the man you love.
42. Get your jammies on early, and park yourself in front of your computer for the  night.
43. Build a REAL closet
44. Hang the sheetrock on said closet.
45. Do the mudding, taping and sanding on that closet.
46. Paint the closet.
47. Add the doors to the closet.
48. Do some home redecorating like Spring/Fall Cleaning
49. Hang on dearly to a caramel apple sucker.
50. Sing loudly.
51. Practice smiling in the mirror (releases endorphins)!
52. Make lists of pros and cons of (smoking, drinking, drugs, _________)..
53. Find intriguing pictures to look at - optical illusions etc.
54. Play with Silly Putty.
55. Whistle "Don't Worry - Be Happy."
56. Get a camera, and take some pictures.
57. Write a letter (you know...on paper).
58. Clean OUT the closets.
59. Crank up the radio and sing at the top of your lungs (works great for driving  craves).
60. Crank up the radio and dance like no one is watching.
61. Make a puzzle.
62. Organize your boxes of pictures.
63. Alphabetize your CD rack.
64. Come here and read and post.(whatever website you enjoy!)
65. Go to miniclip.com and PLAY GAMES.
66. Do your nails. Hard to smoke with wet nails. I've tried.
67. Take a shower.
68. Take a candle-lit bath.
69. Clean out a messy drawer.
70. Take a day trip.
71. Try making home-made candles or soap.
72. Run in place.
73. Do some jumping jacks.
74. Start a reward fund - for every time you deal with stress in a good way, put a  dollar in a jar and at the end of the year, buy youreslf something.
75. Write a poem.
76. Go antique shopping.
77. Go plant a flower for every negative thought.
78. Go to church/temple/synogogue - whatever your religion calls it.
79. Let your husband cook supper for you.
80. Call your Grandmother!
81. Paint a room.
82. Eat a hot fudge sundae.
83. Go play mini-golf.
84. Clean the basement or garage.
85. Wax the car.
86. Scrapbook with your partner about the times you've had together.
87. Scrub the floor.
88. Treat yourself to a massage.
89. Chop up some veggies for a stir-fry - keep your hands busy!
90. Clean out the litter box.
91. Check your car's tire pressure.
92. Call a radio show and request a song.
93. Go ride a few rollercoasters.
94. Take a walk in nature.
95. Watch the sun set.
96. Write a farewell letter to (your drug of choice - cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, etc).
97. Donate blood.
98. Color your hair.
99. Make a greeting card.
100. Write a list of things you are grateful for.
101. Run around the beach with socks on...your feet won't burn from the heat of  the sand!

Author of this list is uknown

With all these ideas, there is no reason we cannot deal positively with stress.  We  need not fear stress, but embrace it like all our other emotions and then choose  the postive technique that is going to help us through that time.  One time it may  be reading while another time it may mean playing a hard game of basketball.   Andother time maybe all you need is some quiet time to yourself to read or write  or just cuddle with your pet.  There is ALWAYS a positive way to deal with a  negative emotion or event.  How you choose to deal with it is totally in your  control.  We are here to learn to be healthy, so let's start picking healthy things  to do and make them habits.  Habits are hard to break and the good ones will  help us for the rest of our lives.  So stress less being proactive and stop being  REACTIVE and obsessing about the stress.  So what's the first thing up there you  are going to try?