I have been jouranling for 21 years.  After I had brain surgery in 1990 for Epilepsy, I found myself in new territory.  I was no longer on medications that made my mind a foggy place to be, nor was a zombie showing no emotion for the same reason of the amount of medication I had been on.

Suddenly I had emotions, feelings, memories and I was scared.  So I went searching the local Christian bookstore.  I don't know what I was searching for, but I found it.  It was a book that taught this then 21-year old young woman how to open up freely to myself, and as a Christian, to God.  Now, if you are not a Christian, you can leave God out of it and find your own little thing that works for you in place of writing to God. 

For me, journaling opened a whole world of safe places where I could express myself freely without fear of confrontation, humiliation and so on.  Where I was not allowed to speak in person to people, I poured out my heart in my journals.

I am a self-proclaimed JOURNAL JUNKIE!!!!!!  If there is a journal for it, I am sure to have it, and if not, I will make one for it!

Below is an article I wrote on Journaling for a website I was a leader on.  I pass it onto you now with the hopes you can find the peace, security and joy that comes from having a silent friend.

LESSON 1
The first rule of journaling is that there are NO RULES.  You can write in a formal manner where you respond to specific prompts or questions.  Or you can do freeform journaling where you write whatever comes into your mind and your heart. 

The only rule I have about joruanling is that you NEVER CENSOR what you are writing.  If you spell it wrong, or are in a bad mood and swear, leave it be.  Don't silence how you are feeling and thinking.  That is done enough in life, we don't need to be doing it to ourselves as well.

Personally, I journal in those Dollar Store journals.  They are not expensive, they are lined and I can doodle or write in them.  I can pick one up, they are easy to hide IF YOU HAVE TO, and they are not a nuisance.

The very first journal I suggest ANYBODY KEEP would be a personal daily journal.  In saying that, it does not mean you have to write in it everyday.  I used to love writing in it everyday but that passed.  Now I write in it when I feel I need to or when I'd like to get caught up on things in my memory that are keeping me awake at night.  For my daily journal, I chose somebody to write to.  Each of my daily journal entries begin with:

Dear Jesus,

You can choose to write Dear Diary, pick an anonymouse person, or just write without directing it towards anybody in particular.  For me, when I write to Jesus, I feel like I am talking it out with somebody who cares and who understands and who is interested in my life.  Not everybody is the same and that is why it is up to you how you choose to begin your daily journal.  You can start with Dear Whomever, or you can just put a date and then start writing.  But whatever of the two methods you choose ALWAYS DATE AND SIGN YOUR JOURNAL.  This will help you when/if you look back later on to see how far you have come or if you need it to remember a certain event on a certain date.

What to write about.  EVERYTHING!  Write about everything that happened through the day, how it made you feel, how you responded, anything special that happened, anything that somebody said to you which you felt upset or joyful at.  Everything that took place that day is what you write about and how you felt about it all and how you responded.

When to write.  To be perfectly honest, the best time to write is just before you head to bed.  The reason is, once you are done writing, your energy in those matters is over and done with.  You can write all the energy into your book and then set that book aside for the night because you have released your tension into the book.

If you have snoopy people in your home that may look for it/read it, find a hiding place for it that only you know exists.  It could be in a purse/briefcase, under a mattress, hidden in a towel in the closet, a pocket in a jacket etc.  There are many places for hiding things in a home...all you have to do is look.

Where you choose to write is up to you.  Make sure you are comfy, maybe put on some quiet music, make sure you have enough light etc.  Me, I write in my big arm chair with quiet music on in the background.  By the time I am done writing, I'm sleepy and ready for bed.

So there are the first few tips for you when it comes to journaling.  I'll post more ideas and tips as I go along, but I don't want to push you.  First get used the idea of journaling and deciding where you are going to journal, if it is going to be a privacy issue and how you are going to fix that etc.  And don't be afraid to ask questions.  I'm open to new ideas, questions etc.

Your journal junkie!
Sheri Adams


LESSON 2
22 PERFECT REASONS TO JOURNAL

1. Faster self-discovery.
2. Improved focus and clarity.,
3. New solutions to solve problems.
4. Creativity is enhanced.
5. Sanctuary and excape.
6. Emotional Empowerment.
7. Can physically help healing.
8. Shows you how to enjoy life more.
9. Timeline
10. Improves communication skills.
11. Valuable record.
12. Self-Discovery - Discover who you are. Writing about yourself helps clarify who you are, your beliefs, and what you want and don't want in life.
13. Focus and Calrity - When writing about you in an h onst mode, you become more focused, you save time because you know what you want, you save money because you can say no fster. It organizes your thoughts and feelings. You can plan bteter.
14. New solutions to solve problems - When writing your thoughts down on paper you find and think of new ways of tapping into your subconscious and getting your ideas out. You see in a different light and find solutions you didn't know you knew.
15. Creativity is enhanced - Jotting down inspiring thoughts or ideas and acollecting them gives you peace of mind, clarity and more focus. You find new ways to express yourself. You can get deeper into the intuitive level of your brain. The journal can even become an expression of your artistic abilities.
16. Sanctuary and escape - It is a great way to excape from chaotic feelings or events or to escape from everyday life and explore a more exciting inner life. Separating yourself from others' influences, delivers a stronger sense of your own identity as an individual, as a human being. The time you share with yourself generates a great sense of peace. It boosts your confidence and self-esteem as well.
17. emotioanl Therapy - Your journal can be your best friend - it always listens and never criticizes. You reduce stress, work through fears, problems get reduced to their real size.
18. Can physically help healing - Journaling when you are ill or when someonen close to you is ill h eps healing. All doctors and hospitals throughout the United States recommends journaling to all their patients. There are even journal workships offered in some hospitals and they are growing at a high rate.
19. Shows you how to enjoy life more. Increases your happiness level at least 60%. It allows different perceptions to be evalluated with no consequences.
20. Timeline - Over the years, your journal becomes a record of your accomplishments, travels, prsonal growth, etc. Recording the who, what, when, where, why and how of past events helps you to remember details you problably would have forgotten otherwise. New stories to tell teh grand children later one.
21. Improves communicatioin skills - Over time your writing and communication skkills will improve because you come better and better at expressing yourself on paper - which is the key to quality writing. It gives your thoughts organization.
22. Valuable record - Recording who you were, what you did, what you thought, what you liked and disliked, etc. is a record of YOU and your identity. leaving your journals for your descendants allows them to remember YOU. They wo uld know so muchmore about YOU than just a few worn photos, name, date of birth. Trust me, after a long time of doing this, they will never read and critique your writing or your crossed out words., etc. They will enjoy and savor your every word and cherish it forever. Look at Anne Fran's journals.
(original author unknown)
23. Friendship Journal - keep track of your friends, addresses, jobs, marriages, children etc., because eventually, we all move apart.  If possible, get their address and name in their own handwriting.



TYPES OF JOURNALS TO CONSIDER - LESSON 3

1   Daily Journal - The daily of who, what, when where, why and how in your life.

2   Career Journal - Where are you now?  Where would you like to be in 1 year:  3 Years?  5 Years?

3   Education Journal - What are you doing, what have you done and accomplished?

4   Fitness Journal - track what you have done for fitness, including housework and career

5   Medical Journal - keep track of all your doctor's visits and what was said, done, diganosed, prescribed

6   Women/Man Journal - what it is like to be, for me, a woman.  The challenges, the benefits. etc.

7   Married Journal - for couples who are married and would like to keep track of their firsts - first candlelight dinner, first Christmas etc.

8   Being Single Journal - for the single person never married, the widow or widower or the happily single again (divorced)  What is your life like now:?  What would you change?  What Do you like?  What don't you like)

9   Bible Study Journal - if you are a Christian, keep track of your Bible studies here

10  Crafts and Hobbies - Keep track of all the crafts and hobbies you currently enjoy.  It doesn't matter if you do all of them or not.  Write them down.  If you are working on a project, write out what that project is you are working on, what the materials are, and all other necessary notes about that craft.

11  Blessings Journal - Keep a list of everything you are blessed with.  This goes beyond our own minds' limits.  Our home, food, family, clothes, TV, Computer, yarn, music, music players, pets, decorations, free education for children, free rights, freedom,  Laws and Justice that try to keep us safe, my calendars that keep me straight, pens, papers, pencil crayons - anything for a stationary junkie ;)  Write down EVERYTHING you have in your possession.  Then when a baby is born, or somebody gets married, write it down as well.

12  Special Occasians - This is for when babies are born, people are married, people hit those milestones and also when they pass on.  Write as detailed a description about those days as possible and celebrate them all, even the funerals.  At least your loved one is not in pain anymore.

13  Special Events - Concernts, Sports Games, trips to Big Fair  Grounds like Wonderland or Darrien Lake.  Write down every detail you can remember.  Meeting your favourite star would fall under this category as well.

14  Dreams - This can be for the dreams you have a night or for what you dream of through the day.  I prefer the 2nd idea.  Daydream away and then write out what it is you are daydreaming about.

15  **Poetry - Don'tn worry if you  can rhyme two words, keep one handy and when the mood strikes, you'll use it.  I'll give you 51 types of poetry to prove it.

16  Art/Doodling - This is a fun one.  If you are sitting in an ER room waiting, or are just not sure what to do with your time, take out your art journal and just doodle.  Masterpieces have come from less.

17  Travel  Journal - If you travel a lot or go on vacation with your family a lot, this would be a good journal to keep and write your thoughts about where you have been, what you have seen, heard, smelled, felt the tastes and all the wonderful things you saw, the funny things that happened and so on.

18  Goals - State very clearly what your goals are for any area of your life and refer to this journal OFTEN and update it as needed - for fitness, nutrition, career, education, family etc.

19  Personal Growth - How far do you think  you have come?  Where can you see changes for the better?  What area of your life would you like to see bettered somehow?

20  Prayer Journal - If you are a Christian, write out your prayers to Jesus/God here.

21  Small Group - If you attend a small group for a learning experience, write down what you learned and what areas you need to work on.

22  Prompt Journal - When you respond to a prompt somebody gave to you to write about.  This is for if you get stuck

23  Quotes Journal - Keep a list of all your favourite quotes in this journal, whether you hand write them or paste them or both.

24  Photo Prompts - Did you find a picture in a magazine moving or stirring?  Cut it out and journal about it.  What do you see, hear, feel, etc.

25  Affirmations - Keep all the affirmations you have used and worked on here!

26  Your Biography - Find out where you came from, what your ancestry is and keep track of it like  you would in a Genealogy Book

27  Memories - Keep all your memories about growing up here.  Be it good or bad, keep them all here.  Nobody had a perfect life, including you, so put them all together for a collage of your young life

28  Dreams - Do you lay around and day dream or do you have wonderful dreams while you are sleeping of far off places and happy times?  If so, write them down.  You never know when a book will appear

29  Heroes - We all have heroes in life.  Who are your heroes?  Who WERE your hereoes?  What makes them heroes to you?  Are they really good examples of heroes?

30  My Friends - Keep a log of your frirends through the ages.  We won't always have the same friends, but it would be nice to have something of them.  Ask them for a picture, to write something funny about their life for you in your journal, put their full name, birthdate, anniversary if it applies and anything else you want to remember.  Places and concerts you went to together.  Things you did together for fun.

31  Chores and Organization - Many people find it hard to keep things organized.  To have a journal where you write down everything that needs to be done and then prioritize them, is a handy little tool to have.  You write down your chores, when you are going to do them, where you can find inexpensive items to organize with and what you will use what you are buying for.  One of the biggest problems with overcrowded homes today, and I'm guilty of it myself, is I buy with no place to put.  Now I buy to organize and make room.

32  Nutrition  - for some people, nutrition is not a big issue.  For others, it may be an issue.  Let's say you were just diagnosed with Diabetes.  Your eating changes drastically and one way to watch how your eating is or is not working, is by keeping a record of what you ate and what time and where you were.  For others, it helps them track HOW MUCH they eat so they know when to stop eating so they don't overeat.

33  Interview - If you have people that are dear to you and you don't want to lose close contact with them, try an interview journal.  Set up a bunch of questions you would ask anybody...name, age, birth date, raised where, etc.  Then write down about 10+ specific questions that would relate to that person.  Interview them, writing down what they say.  You will have your own biography book of your favourite people.

34  A B C'S - Write a journal using ABC's.  Write out YOUR ABC's of Happiness, Your ABC's of Healthy Living, Your ABC's of Family, and so on.  There are numerous, almost countless things you can do ABC's on.  Use your imagination and watch the lists fly!

35  Holidays - Does your family go on holidays a lot?  Write about your travels as you go.  What do you see?  Hear?  Smell?  Touch?  Taste?  How does it feel?  Do you like it?  Are you bored there.  Put some pictures in if you want or just use different colouring pencils to make your own drawings.  It's a wonderful treasure to look back upon.

36  20 years From Now - Remember in school the teacher asking you where you thought we would be in 20 years?  I remember being asked and everybody thinking we'd all be flying around in spaceships now and not use cars etc.  We are closer, but still have a very long way to go.  Where do you think you/we will be 20 years from now?  How will life be?  What will have changed?  Write in details.

37  Bookworm, Bookworm - if you are like my parents, you cannot be found without a book in their hand or on their seat.  I've tried to encourage them to keep a list of all the books they have read and to write a brief summary of the story and whether or not they like it.  That's the Book Review Journal.  But if you love to read, keep a copy of the books you read, write a short summary of the book without giving the story or ending away and give it a start rating system of how many stars out of 5, with the more stars, the better the book.  the Bookworm, Bookworm Journal simply lists the book, author and year while the Book Review Journal lists the rest of the details.

38  Pets - I don't know about you, but pets are very important to me.  I cannot have children so pets become my children.  Right now, in 2009, I have a pure black cat named Sammy.  His black hair simmers like satin.  He is 3 feet long from tip of nose to tip of tail and when he stretches he is over 4 feet long.  I've had 3 cats in 17 years and a few foster cats.  And as hard as it is to let them go when they are so sick it would be cruel to keep them alive, I don't think I could ever live without them.  I write about my pets often.  I can only have one at a time so each gets their own scrapbook.  But your pets are part of your family and they too deeserve to be written about and remembered honourably.

39  Humour - There is always something to make us laugh.  Write those thing down.  Something you did as a child that you now look at and shake your head with a laugh.  Or how about a joke your best friend told about you on your wedding day!  Anything that would make you laugh, write it down.

40  Happiness - Many things can make us smile and cause a feeling of happiness inside of us.  A new baby, pets playing, children laughing, a wonderful summer day.  Write down these days in as much detail as you can possibly imagine.  What colour of blue was the sky?  What did the carpet of grass beneath your feet feel like?  Etc.  What made you smile today?  Write it down.

41  Accomplishments - whether it is graduating from school with honours, getting your favourite actor's autograph, running in a marathon, taking karate classes, winning an award for volunteering, journal about it.




THE POETRY TYPES - LESSON 4
Way back at number 15, I put in a Poetry Journal.  So you think you are no poet and you know it!?  Take a look at these and see if they are not so far away from some of the things you've seen around.  Give your had a whirl at it.  As Little Fivel in AN AMERICAN TALE SINGS, Never say Never!!!!!

**51 Types of Poetry
ABC
A poem that has five lines that create a mood, picture, or feeling. Lines 1 through 4 are made up of words, phrases or clauses while the first word of each line is in alphabetical order. Line 5 is one sentence long and begins with any letter.
Acrostic
Poetry that certain letters, usually the first in each line form a word or message when read in a sequence.
Ballad
A poem that tells a story similar to a folk tail or legend which often has a repeated refrain.
Ballade
Poetry which has three stanzas of seven, eight or ten lines and a shorter final stanza of four or five. All stanzas end with the same one line refrain.
Blank verse
A poem written in unrhymed iambic pentameter and is often unobtrusive. The iambic pentameter form often resembles the rhythms of speech.
Bio
A poem written about one self's life, personality traits, and ambitions.
Burlesque
Poetry that treats a serious subject as humor.
Canzone
Medieval Italian lyric style poetry with five or six stanzas and a shorter ending stanza.
Carpe diem
Latin expression that means 'seize the day.' Carpe diem poems have a theme of living for today.
Cinquain
Poetry with five lines. Line 1 has one word (the title). Line 2 has two words that describe the title. Line 3 has three words that tell the action. Line 4 has four words that express the feeling, and line 5 has one word which recalls the title.
Classicism
Poetry which holds the principles and ideals of beauty that are characteristic of Greek and Roman art, architecture, and literature.
Couplet
A couplet has rhyming stanzas made up of two lines.
Dramatic monologue
A type of poem which is spoken to a listener. The speaker addresses a specific topic while the listener unwittingly reveals details about him/herself.
Elegy
A sad and thoughtful poem about the death of an individual.
Epic
An extensive, serious poem that tells the story about a heroic figure.
Epigram
A very short, ironic and witty poem usually written as a brief couplet or quatrain. The term is derived from the Greek epigramma meaning inscription.
Epitaph
A commemorative inscription on a tomb or mortuary monument written to praise the deceased.
Epithalamium (Epithalamion)
A poem written in honor of the bride and groom.
Free verse (vers libre)
Poetry written in either rhyme or unrhymed lines that have no set fixed metrical pattern.
Ghazal
A short lyrical poem that arose in Urdu. It is between 5 and 15 couplets long. Each couplet contains its own poetic thought but is linked in rhyme that is established in the first couplet and continued in the second line of each pair. The lines of each couplet are equal in length. Themes are usually connected to love and romance. The closing signature often includes the poet's name or allusion to it.
Haiku
A Japanese poem composed of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five morae, usually containing a season word.
Horatian ode
Short lyric poem written in two or four-line stanzas, each with its the same metrical pattern, often addressed to a friend and deal with friendship, love and the practice of poetry. It is named after its creator, Horace.
Iambic pentameter
One short syllabel followed by one long one five sets in a row. Example: la-LAH la-LAH la-LAH la-LAH la-LAH
Idyll (Idyl)
Poetry that either depicts a peaceful, idealized country scene or a long poem telling a story about heroes of a bye gone age.
Irregular (Pseudo-Pindaric or Cowleyan) ode
Neither the three part form of the pindaric ode nor the two or four-line stanza of the Horatian ode. It is characterized by irregularity of verse and structure and lack of coorespondence between the parts.
Italian sonnet
A sonnet consisting of an octave with the rhyme pattern abbaabba followed by six lines with a rhyme pattern of cdecde or cdcdcd.
Lay
A long narrative poem, especially one that was sung by medieval minstrels.
Limerick
A short sometimes vulgar, humorous poem consisting of five anapestic lines. Lines 1, 2, and 5 have seven to ten syllables, rhyme and have the same verbal rhythm. The 3rd and 4th lines have five to seven syllables, rhyme and have the same rhythm.
List
A poem that is made up of a list of items or events. It can be any length and rhymed or unrhymed.
Lyric
A poem that expresses the thoughts and feelings of the poet.
Memoriam stanza
A quatrain in iambic tetrameter with a rhyme scheme of abba -- named after the pattern used by Lord Tennyson.
Name
Poetry that tells about the word. It uses the letters of the word for the first letter of each line.
Narrative
A poem that tells a story.
Ode
A lengthy lyric poem typically of a serious or meditative nature and having an elevated style and formal stanza structure.
Pastoral
A poem that depicts rural life in a peaceful, romanticized way.
Petrarchan
A 14-line sonnet consisting of an octave rhyming abbaabba followed by a sestet of cddcee or cdecde
Pindaric ode
A ceremonious poem consisting of a strophe (two or more lines repeated as a unit) followed by a an antistrophe with the same metrical pattern and concluding with a summary line (an epode) in a different meter. Named after Pindar, a Greek professional lyrist of the 5th century B.C.
Quatrain
A stanza or poem consisting of four lines. Lines 2 and 4 must rhyme while having a similar number of syllables.
Rhyme
A rhyming poem has the repetition of the same or similar sounds of two or more words, often at the end of the line.
Rhyme royal
A type of poetry consisting of stanzas having seven lines in iambic pentameter.
Romanticism
A poem about nature and love while having emphasis on the personal experience.
Rondeau
A lyrical poem of French origin having 10 or 13 lines with two rhymes and with the opening phrase repeated twice as the refrain.
Senryu
A short Japanese style poem, similar to haiku in structure that treats human beings rather than nature: Often in a humorous or satiric way.
Sestina
A poem consisting of six six-line stanzas and a three-line envoy. The end words of the first stanza are repeated in varied order as end words in the other stanzas and also recur in the envoy.
Shakespearean
A 14-line sonnet consisting of three quatrains of abab cdcd efef followed by a couplet, gg. Shakespearean sonnets generally use iambic pentameter.
Shape
Poetry written in the shape or form of an object.
Sonnet
A lyric poem that consists of 14 lines which usually have one or more conventional rhyme schemes.
Tanka
A Japanese poem of five lines, the first and third composed of five syllables and the other seven.
Terza Rima
A type of poetry consisting of 10 or 11 syllable lines arranged in three-line tercets.
Verse
A single metrical line of poetry.
Villanelle
A 19-line poem consisting of five tercets and a final quatrain on two rhymes. The first and third lines of the first tercet repeat alternately as a refrain closing the succeeding stanzas and joined as the final couplet of the quatrain.

HOW TO JOURNAL - LESSON 5 (last lesson)
Step 1
Find a journal that's classic in form and layout. Buying a neutral journal is the best option because it doesn't go out of style. Keeping your journals and periodically refreshing your memory about your growth is a great source of encouragement as you face personal battles.
Step 2
Retreat to a secret, safe place where you can be alone with your thoughts. Make sure you're free from distraction and have a set time you can count on. This could simply be your bedroom with your phone off.
Step 3
Write whatever comes to mind without self-editing. Many times things that are inside you just need to be expressed, and the journey of acknowledging all that helps to bring clarity and resolution. Decide that whatever you're thinking and feeling is OK because it's temporary.
Step 4
Go deep and allow yourself to go off on tangents. Follow the rabbit's trail as far as it goes. If you find yourself off the path, reread where you started and see if there's any more inside you that you need to express.
Step 5
Plan to have a journaling time daily, but be flexible with yourself if it doesn't happen. Setting a time to journal before you go to bed gives you the best viewpoint from which to track your life events and feelings on a small scale. Find what works for you.


There are a few basic skills when learning how to journal, some of them are:
Make the time and space to do it on a regular basis. Whether you are keeping a dream journal, a garden journal, a baby journal, travel journal or a personal journal of any kind, this one step will make or break your experience. If you have to go so far as to make a 'date' with yourself - do it. At the very least, spend some time once a week to look through your calendar or diary and record the highlights or low lights of your week. Even after many years, I'm an irregular writer in my journal, but when I do write and commune with my wonderful companion, the value I receive from this is immense. It is always well worth the effort.
Begin with something you are passionate about. This makes it so much easier to write regularly, the words and ideas can seem to flow without effort and you will enjoy reading back through the pages of you journal entries. I have more than one journal because I like to keep my gardening knowledge (successes and failures) separate from my personal and spiritual growth conversations. I'm sure you will develop a process and style that works for you.
Use materials that Inspire and Motivate you: My journals are ALWAYS beautiful to look at and to use. Likewise my writing implement. I have a preference for a certain type of pen, a certain colour and a certain texture to the paper, This adds greatly to my enjoyment of the writing process and when looking back I can remember what it was about that particular book or pen that attracted me. Layers of enjoyment will build a strong relationship to your journaling process. Find out what you like, experiment with different things until you find the right combination of elements for you.
Learn from others: So many times at the beginning of my journaling adventure I longed to peek inside the pages of other peoples journals. What did they do? How did they do it? I was fortunate that some of my friends were willing to share some of their pages with me and I was introduced to the idea of drawing and painting and collage and colour and doodles in addition to the words which I was writing. This immediately reminded me of the newspaper cuttings, pressed flowers and pictures I have always found inside the pages of old books and this idea of adding such visual texture to my journal was so enticing I began right away. I am so grateful to my dear friends for opening my eyes to these new possibilities.

MY RULES ABOUT JOURNALING
There are NO definitive rules.
Write when it's quiet or when it's noisy, whichever is best for you.
Write when you feel the need to write.  Always keep a pad and pen with you.
Write when you need a friend but haven't got one at the moment.
Don't judge your writing.
Don't edit spelling or grammar mistakes.  You're expressing yourself, not testing yourself.
Write freely and honestly.  No point in lying to yourself.  You're the only one who knows what's there so why try and hide it?
Write for however long it takes you to write.  A few miniutes or a few hours.  Sometimes I'd write for 4 hours.  However long it took for me to finally feel peace.
And most importantly, write where you are not going to be distracted.  If that means turning on the shower and writing while the water runs and people think you are having a shower, then do so.  Or go to the park and write or a mall and sit in the food area.
And of course, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!

 TO SUSMMERIZE ABOUT JOURNALING
It can relieve stress, open creativity, improfve the quality of your health, is a best friend with a locked mouth that knows how to keep secrets and does not judge you.