It might help if you stop thinking about having an organism and just enjoy each other.  Dont rush because love making is a gift that two people share.  From the time you see your mate and the process begin.  If his touch does not thrill you and vice versa then you may not be into each other that way,  Is the intercourse painful?  Are you all taking your time and enjoying foreplay?  Have you tried watching adult movies?  Do you know where your hot spots are on your body?