Pam, your plea is very alarming to me.  You can't do this alone.  You need to have a family meeting and place your burdens on the shoulders of the one that can hear them.  You are praying for the wrong thing, pray for life, strength and the ability to share your troubles.  I am sincerely troubled to read this.  My heart aches for you. Let your family help.  Put you first.  My prayers to you Pam,  Please know that I'm here to read your frustrations, I'm here as your other friends are.  Sincerely, Diana

Suzy Q has the right idea.  she is correct.  Only God knows when it is our time.  You may outlive us all because we don't know  what is coming, medically, down the pike.  The prednisone is a terrible thing and I hope you start to feel better soon.  This is a good time to talk to your girls because they are feeling sensitive and vulnerable.  I was home with Mommy when she died.  She asked me the night before she died, Am I going to die, Robin.  It was late, I was tired and I said, we're all gonna die Mommy.  I had time to live with the idea and it was still difficult.  You might start by telling them you have been to see the dr.  They will ask questions and then they will jump in and give you the help and support you need.  You will be happy you said something when they rally around and you are able to get some support.  I wish you only the very best and most comfort. After the neurologist, let us know how you fair.  Continue to blog and let us know if there is anything we can do.  Bobbie

i go tomorrow to the meurologist, and thank god yesterday was my last dose of prednisone at least for this round. thank you all so very much for your encouragement and love. i do hold all of you so dear to my heart. i am considering talking to my girls, it is just so hard for me because they both have babies of there own so i really don't want to feel like a burden but i know all of you are right i didn't get to be there for my mother who i lost in 2005 because she was in california and i in ohio and she died all alone. so i know in my heart my girls do want to help me i just don't know how to ask. i do need to work on this.    love to all Pam

               PS  maybe i will feel human again once this prednisone gets out of my system  LOL!!!!!

Pam,

Don't listen to who ever is telling you 15 to 18 years life expectancy.  Life expectancy is no different for people living with MS than the general population.

Hi Pam, I was going to suggest what Meliss and Pink said about the list.  This is where it would be good to have someone in the family with you.  Your girls will be happier knowing you trusted them with this than they will be if you get to a point where they cannot help you.  My mother died of emphysema when I was 18.  There are days when I would give everything I won for one more day with her. Don't deny your children the opportunity to help and spend time with you.  They will not see it as a burden.  They will want to be there and advocate for you with the drs.  Give them and you the chance to create some memories.  I hope all goes well on Friday.  I don't know if you have my e-mail.  It is tombobbie@optonline.net.  I will continue to pray for you.  Take care.  Bobbie

How about making a list of questions to bring to the doctor?  Maybe you could type out a list and print it for him.  Also maybe your doctor has email; some doctors will do that with their patients.

Melissa.

thanks again i do feel better just reading everything you all write i know you are my dear sincere friends and family i think you are right about the prednisone because i am becoming very short tempered and nasty mouth with people. sometimes just hearing someone chewing i want to scream is that pathetic or what. i do have to laugh. i go see my neurologist on friday so i don't know what he will have to say then hopefully someone will come up with something besides prednisone does any one know is there a certain medicine for the different types of ms or do they all help any of the 4 types? my problem is i come up with these questions and i don't mind asking here but when i get to the dr. i feel stupid or forget so i don't ask anything unless he asks me a question. I know i need to overcome this because i am a great advocate for everyone else but me.

                                                                    Pam

Pam it is good to hear from you ! Im so sorry you are going through so much pain . Please know that I am thinking of you and sending you peacefull thoughts for less pain! . Hope you find the strength. if you need to vent  email me directly anytime lisabethk@cox.net.  My mother-in -l;aw has MS. I know what she is going through  and I empathise with you.

hugs and love

lisa

Thank You Bobbie, I know you are so right i just don't have the courage to burden my daughters with my medical issues or perhaps i myself am not willing to say i need help i can't do this by myself. i don't know but i pray everyday and still feel no better and you are right this prednisone is for the birds i woke up today and i  am swollen from my face to my feet. thank you so much everyone for writing to me i know i can always come here and find my friends that care and understand         

                                                         Your friend Pam

Dear Pam, I am so sorry to hear you are miserable.  I think a burden shared is a burden lightened.  It is time to have a sit down with the kids.  You need the kind of help that you can't get in your own.  At 24, your daughter is at a point in her life where she can be more of a help to you than a hinderance.  If you were my mom, I would want to know if there was something I could do for you.  My mom died of emphysema at home.  I was eighteen at the time and I knew for far too long that she was sick.  Your case is different.  You need help.  My mom was on predisone and it was horrible.  Is there another dr. or another medicine you can take?  It seems we should have something that can make you more comfortable and help with the ms on the way.  I wish you a day without pain.  Please talk to your children, you need to put a plan in place for the younger ones.  I wish you the best.  Bobbie