Thank you..it was VERY challenging and i did have fun..wouldn't trade it for anything.

Melissa.

Im actually doing a lot better today...actually ate dinner last night and today and i am fine (knock on wood) and a few of you gave me things to think about and I did.  I think I am getting my act together.  I have done a presentation on Anorexia Nervosa and zinc supplementation years ago for a final project in college....since then I haven't really.  But thing is it is all an individual thing that has to do with circumstances around that person and their thinking patterns, and there isn't really research on that becasue everyone is different.  Objective studies have been done but not many subjective because thoughts and actions can vary so much. 

Melissa.

Thank  you Yvonne. That means a lot :-)

Melissa.

You know you have to fight the feelings you are having,like you do with everything else.You are a strong girl.

Now put those thoughts out of your head,or I will have to come up there.You are a RD you know the right way to eat.You know I know how hard it is when you get thoughts in your head.

You are beautiful inside and out.

Yvonne

Thanks Norey.  It makes no difference about telling my Primary doc (he has said see a dietician, which would be no help becasue he said it would be on the "honor system" of what I ate ) and Psychiatrist because I see him for 15 minutes every 6 weeks or so, and he does medical psychiatry only.  I could bring it up with him but because he isn't really trained in the therapy department all he says is uh huh to every thing I say and prescribes a pill.  And because I am not  below weight  right now he doesn't take me as seriously as he would -- but even underweight now that I think about it  he still lets me stay that way, so weight is no issue with him  either too thin or fat.  i gained 40 pounds because i USED to be on clozaril and he never noticed.  And told me that.  And then went on to other things like how my meds were  etc. 

And I can't do therapy anymore because get this one -- I am 36 and they want to involve my mother, and they press the issue so much that I get so angry and give up.  My psych wants  to involve my mother, and I have to stand up for myself every time.  I may not bring this up, it is kind of a useless cause with him.  When I am underweight I have to admit myself to the hospital, he doesnt do it. Fortunately I know when to go//to have gone in the past.  And I cant change and find other doctors/therapists who take my insurance.  So that is where I am left at.  I'm not making excuses it's just what they say to me when the issue comes up.

I've been through these thoughts before but it has been awhile and don't remember how I pulled out of it.  I kept reverting back but in 2008 something changed and I kept the weight on, mainly for my hip's sake.  It wasn't a psycological thing at that point, and I got accustomed to being bigger than I am used to because i was so inactive and just wanted to get well.

Melissa.

Melissa,

That is not alot of weight, you can take control back of your mind.  You are a great person and need to remember that and have lots of support here.  Remind yourself of how great you are, especially when your body is feeling tired and broken.  You'll look back at this one day... you'll heal more and more everday, just keep talking and we'll help get you thru this and if you think it's necessary, please talk to your doctor about this before it gets out of control.  Okay !!!   We care about you.   Love, Norey

I'm trying hard but thought can be overwhelming at times.  Somewhere along the way I lost control of something I have no clue over  and I need some control back. Yes, I can control getting better over anything else but sometimes my mind reverts back to patterns I've had for years.  Just hard to overcome them.

Melissa.

Right now you just need to take care of yourself and heal.

You can lose weight when you are better.

With me, losing weight is an every day battle.

Take care.

Linda

PS---had it not been for this eating disorder my hip may have not broken.  i lost too many nutrients at the peak of growing in my teen years.

Melissa.