I wanted to let you know that you are beautiful in Gods eyes and in your families eyes. I had a lot of history I had to learn to overcome as well. One book I read and then did a bible study and bought the work book for is the book called "do you think I'm beautiful" I am having a brain fart on who the author is however the cover is bluish purple but the book and especially the workbook helped me think about and work throught my past and helped me learn how to start to reshap my future to what I wanted it to be and not what my past was saying I was. I author has a tremendous story of her life as well and I think you would enjoy this book and it is a self help book that you can do and not have to let anyone know you are doing it unless you want to. Also, I think getting professional help for you individually and also with your immediate family members because this is a situation you all need to work through and learn to deal with together. Anything that effects you affects them. God bless and remember you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

you are not alone ! feel free to email me anytime lisabethk@cox.net

sending hugs and rainbows

lsia

HUGS!!!!!

Here's another question for you.  Did you ask for it?  Of course not.  Keep telling your story, people are listening. The more you tell your story the more people will listen and read and soon you will not only have helped somebody else, you will have healed as well.  Diana

May I also suggest changing your screen name?  Who are you? What do you enjoy? How do you want people to remember you?  The person that gave birth to you is not a mother. She bore you.  God gave you life.  God gave you strength.  Walk toward him and not away from him. Keep blogging.  Keep a journal. It does help.  Sisters in spirit, Diana

I'm going to just jump right in here:  Please forgive anything that may sound offending for it's not my intention to offend you.  Please allow me to be frank.  I feel that's the only way to be and you sound like you need a little honesty in your life and a friend as well as not only a listening ear, but also a shoulder to rest your weary head on and by the way a kleenex or two.  I stock up on them, lots of boxes throughout the house. 

First:  I'm am so sorry to hear about the painful past you are living with everyday.  I do know.  I do know.  But, you cannot let that define you.  Please don't let it define you. It's not to late to move past that.  Yes, things, very terrible things happened to you, no, none of it was your fault.  Do not hold yourself hostage to your past.  You've managed to become an adult, a woman, a mother and soon a grandmother.  Now, you need to delve inside yourself and become you.  You, the woman that you deserve to be, the woman that you've always wanted to be, the woman you know that you are. Do this next step when you are alone, lock yourself in the bathroom or bedroom where ever there is a mirror.  Look at yourself, cry.  Talk to yourself. Ask yourself questions.  Tell yourself that you want more, you are more.  Lower yourself into a fetal position and cry, cry, cry until your heart aches.   Really aches.  Get up wipe your tears and look again at the beautiful person looking back at you, that's you sweetie, you.  You are a beautiful person, a woman, a person of great strength. God gave you strength to endure so much in your shore time on this earth.  He gave you emotions, the ability to nurture, the ability to protect,  the ability to solve problems, the ability to cope and the ability to feel.  Sisters, Diana

Dear margie, Hi my name is Bobbie and I have two sons.  one is high functioning autistic.  He is brilliant but sometimes he makes me nuts.  I am recently divorced.  My husband left me for another woman.  My parents were separated when I was 3.  I haven't seen my dad since I was nine.  My mom raised nine of us alone.  She was a drunk.  She quit drinking when I was 10.  Then she was sick with emphysema and bronchitis for the next eight years.  I couldn't wait for her to die.  When she did die, I was eighteen and I cried my eyes out.  when I was 40, I woke up to the fact that my mother did the best job she could.  My dad left  and never looked back.  Mom was sick.  She went to family court more times than I can remember.  She fought to keep us together.  We were on welfare.  we moved from one town to the next.  I never had my own new stuff, everything was hand me downs.  My sister was so excited when she got a package of socks for Christmas.  Seriously.  How sad is that?  My mother loved me, I know she did, but if I put a toe over the line, she was a horrible dixciplinarian.  We got hit with belts, shoes, dog chains, iron frying pans, a wooden stick.  She actually put a stick to my sisters throat and tried to choke her one day.  i was never raped, but i was molested by my older brother.  IT IS GOING TO GET BETTER IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT.  My suggestion is that you go see a doctor and get some of these feelings out.  you may need to continue talking.  There is no shame in it anymore.  Who could fault someone for getting help?  From one shy, timid little girl to another, welcome to the site, and good luck.  Bobbie

Angel,

Here's along distance HUG and a kiss!

I have missed you these passed few days.  You dont have to be alone.  I have adopted you as my brand new sissy!~

I think somewhere in all of this pain forgiveness releases like a balloon that is built up inside YOU fiiled with hot air inside of your soul. 

Forgiveness doesnt mean to forget.  It means you are stepping aside and allowing GOD to do his job.

GOD MADE YOU PERFECT.  YOU WERE AS A CHILD AND EVEN AS AN ADULT TODAY YOU ARE PERFECT.  Sometimes those who were to take care of us (our parents) were not and that sweet ANGEL is where forgiveness must come from!

xox