I am a 27 year old mom and wife. My children are 6, 4 and 3, and the most amazing blessings I could ever have asked for.  My husband and I have been together since high school, and despite my enormous weight gain, still seems to love me.  This is especially hard to believe and understand for me, because even I cannot love me because of my weight.  Therefore, I want to lose weight, not only because I want to be around for my children and family, but also because I believe if I keep pushing my husband's love away due to my insecurity with my weight, I will lose him.  I have always been an emotional eater. However, 2 months after I had my daughter (6), my father passed away.  We were extremely close.  I had a very hard time handling his death both because of the grief I felt, but also because of the pain I felt for my mother and brother's loss.  That was when everything really started happening.  Not only did I not lose any of the 102 lbs. I had gained with my daughter due to toxemia and bed rest, but I believe I also added some.  I buried myself and work, and I have been steadily working 50 to 70 hours a week since.  It made it easy to stay out of touch with reality and not have to feel when things happened in my family.  I lost a grandmother, an uncle, an aunt...and I felt none of it.  Then, with the addition of my two boys, the weight stayed on, and I lied to myself about my appearance.  I was blessed to be given an opportunity five months ago to stay home with my children after all of these years.  I have resolved to make this the year that I deal with all of my past skeletons.  Also, to lose this weight and become healthy.  I want my outer appearance to match the beauty I feel inside.  Also, I want to give myself a chance to catch up with life.  As I told my husband earlier, I have never known myself as an adult.  At the end of this twelve month journey, I want to be an open soul with nothing hidden, and I want to know me as a "grown-up." LOL!