I am a 34 yr old mother of 4 beautiful children.  I was struck with myocarditis shortly after my 34th birthday. I was flown to Mayo Hospital in Phoenix and immediately placed into ICU.  A balloon pump was immediately put in to sustain blood flow throughout my body. After a few days it was taken out, but I was kept on IV drugs that helped my heart muscle.  After more days I was moved upstairs, I was showing signs of improvement.  After arriving upstairs there was hope of being released within the week.  My husband and I were exstatic, but they would have to ween me off the IV drugs.  So the weening began.  On the third and final day after the IV drug was stopped I crashed.  I was right back where I was.  I was immediately rushed back into the cath lab and a balloon pump placed back in, then taken back into ICU and placed on the transplant list immediately.  My husband and I were crushed.  While we were upstairs we were able to walk around together, we would sit in the lobby downstairs and just be happy being able to hold each other again. So when I crashed again it was an extreme blow to us.  We decided we needed to get the kids down here in case things got any worse.  The kids came down and visited me while I was in ICU with a balloon pump in, I had so many different feelings I cannot even begin to describe all of them.  My husband decided to keep the kids with him and I was able to see them for 5 straight days.  In a way this was good, there were able to see me when I had the balloon pump in and could not move, to when they took it out and I was able to sit up and they could sit with me on the bed.  While I had the balloon pump in there was talk about needing to put in "venricular assist devices" (VAD's).  I had no idea what was going to happen, all that I knew was that I was fighting for my kids and husband and there was nothing that was going to keep me from being with them.  After the balloon pump came out for a second time they decided to hold off on placing the VAD's in hopes of a donor becoming available.  After a few days my heart was unable to maintain perfusion to even my vital organs, I was spitting more blood up then I had before.  I had a very hard time even talking do to the fact that I was having a very hard time even trying to breathe.  The surgery for the VAD's was set for the next day, but I could hardly even talk or breathe, the doctor came in and said that he could help me breathe by putting a tube down my throat.  Without hesitation I agreed.  At that point I just couldn't do it on my own anymore.  After surgery I felt alot better, but there was an issue and I had to go back in again to have the tubes adjusted and my triscupid valve removed.  After waking up and having the tube down my throat removed I felt like I had another chance.  I knew that this was only a bridge to a new heart but I was given another chance.  The feeling of having these pumps and tubes put in was strange.  It definitely took some getting used to.  So with all the tubes in place it was time to start my recovery.  Walking around was tough.  I was attached to a machine that was 2/3 the size of a refrigerator.  After a week of being attached to that machine I was placed on a portable machine that I would be using when I went home.  We went through alot of training on the machine along with a lot of training on the machine.  While on upstairs at the hospital again my husband pretty much moved in with me.  He would spend all day and night with me, he was ready to be my caregiver.  After 6 weeks in Mayo we were getting released.  I was exstatic, I could not wait to see my kids and be home again.  When I got home I slept and slept.  It was great to be back in my bed again.  Since I have been home I have had to make adjustments.  I cannot drive, I have daily dressing changes that my husband has to do.  But I am home with my kids.  I have a very positive mindset, something like this is not going to keep me away from my kids.  One thing that I would like to stress to everyone is the importance of organ donation and how much one person can save the lives of many, and impact the families and friends of those individuals.  It is truly the gift that keeps on giving.