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Thank you for such insight to your life Dana, I apoligise for my ignorance, however I feel so much more informed now, and will be a little more careful in the choosing of my words in the future...I totally get what you explained to me...this was no choice...in reality you did what you needed to do to become whole as a person...I am sorry that there was so many hardships along the way...I hope your family realizes one day this had to do with you becoming you and not about them and embrace the amazing person you are, I truly mean that!...

debby

Dear Debbie,Thank you for your sympatheti/empatheticc letter.  For transsexuals, transitioning is not a "choice".  If you had a baby born with a cleft lip . . . is it really a choice to fix it?   We are born with the brain of one gender, and the body nof the other gender.  There are numerous human cadaver brain studies that were conducted in Denmark that support this fact.  In contrast, hermaphrodites (individuals possessing dual genitalia) are admonished when they choose not to have surgery to "correct" their "problem".

Regarding gender . . . gender refers to the sex one is born as.  Gender Preference refers to whether one is attracted to males, females, both, or none.  Gender Identity refers to the gender one identifies with (malr or female).

~50% of Male to Female Transsexuals, who were heterosexual as men, will remain attracted to women after hormonre therapy.  The other 50% of heterosexual males who transition will find themselves attracted to men after completing hormone replacement therapy.

I was attracted to women, when I lived as a man.  Currently, I am still attracted to women.  Hence, I am a Male to Female TRanssexual Lesbian!

This may be inpart, due to the fact that I was raped at the age of 13 by my martial arts instructor.

Dana

Hi Dana,

nah, I'm just a reg. female...I misunderstood your original post, this part... I saw a documentary on transsexuality and realized what I was!   I cashed in my retirement, and flew to Thailand to for Sexual Reassignment Surgery.)...I thought you had it done immediately, lol...shows how little I know about the process. 

as far as I am concerned, you more then earned your right to be 'female', and I do hope you enjoy your life completely now as you deserve to...

Heck, I had my boobs done about 10 years ago, I was blown away how people that found out reacted so poorly to it and alot of put downs, they had no 'real' idea why I had it done, but that did stop them for deciding why I did it and ran with it.  so, to me, that was just a lil change I did for myself, and the negative crap that came with it shocked me...I can not even imagine how rough things get for you, and that I am so sorry for you...this was a personal choice, meaning...no one elses business, but so many disrepect personal choices don't they...I figure you are a very strong person, and you have conquered the worse, just keep stepping ahead, its a new world for you, enjoy it!

Question for you...will you date men now or not?...If you don't answer, I totally understand, just curious here.  And do you have a a good support system there, good friends?

Debbie,

Are you a genetic female or are you like me?  You said, "would have given you a heads up on what you may be facing down the road"

Dana

Thank sfor your comments Debby.  I did not transition rapidly at all . . . rather just the opposite.  The original model "The Harry Benjamin Model" requires transsexuals to begin dressing as the opposite sex immediately (even before hormones have begun).  I created my own model called "The Morphing Butterfly".  In my model, you start with little things . . . eye brow grooming . . . removal of body and facial hair, etc.  I would tell people that I was a metro-sexual (a well groomed heterosexual male).  I then switched from masculine clothing to gender neutral clothing.  AS my breasts began to develop, I covered them up so that no one could tell.  Finally, when I could not hide my secret anymore:  Fully developed breasts (Tanner V); morning sickness from hormones; mood swings (from estrogen therapy) etc.  I had to come out.

It took me two years to teach myself how to talk in a female range.  During male puberty, vocal cords lengthen . . . and this lowers the range of the teenage male.  Vocal cords do not shorten back when we take estrogen.  I practiced for two to three hours each day to be able to speak in a female range.

Thank you for your kind words and support!

Dana

Just read your life history, sometimes the hurdles we must get through feel impossible, but stay strong in 'who' you are and life will work itself out.  I'm a huge believer in we are only handed what we can handle...the only thing is, I feel you handed yourself this umm 'hic up' in life...perhaps it would have been easier to ease into the change, get people prepared so would not be so shocking, plus also would have given you a heads up on what you may be facing down the road...but that said...kinda like hind sight hey...you must be a strong person to have pushed ahead as you have, to think suicide would be such a waste of who you are...no one can take away from you...WHO YOU ARE...so put those kind of thoughts away, and just keep your chin up, your worth it!!...ps...maybe you should write a book, I bet it would be fasinating!