Hi! My son will be 6 soon, and we are STILL having a problem with him having 'accidents'. He has absolutely no problem having a bowel movement in his pants. They aren't really accidents, but more of an "I'm too busy to use the bathroom". He has no accidents at school and he can go weeks without having a problem. Then all of a sudden, he will be playing with a friend or maybe playing on the trampoline or doing whatever, and he will go in his pants. And, the kicker is, it doesn't even bother him. He will sit in it until my husband or I figure it out.
We have tried the reward system, taking things away, taking away whatever he was doing when the 'accident' occurred, making him clean it up, etc. We are not the type of parents to take the 'humiliation' route, like making him wear a diaper or hosing him off (yes we have seen this on the internet as ways to fix the problem.)
I am at the end of my rope, and have no idea what else to do. We have spoken with his pediatrician, who says it's behavioral. (Which I agree with.) However, that doesn't solve my problem. We did try her suggestion of rewarding him which we did.
He will go weeks, meet his goal to earn his reward, and then we are right back to where we started. I will take that particular reward away, but that doesn't matter.
If ANYONE has any ideas/suggestions, PLEASE feel free to give them. I have no idea what else to do. I have seen a medical condition where they will hold it, and it will 'seep' out, but that is definately not what is going on here.
Thanks in advance for your help.
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well.. my girl is only four.. but she'll do this too.. She only has accidents when she feels she's not getting enough adult attention.. i don't know if that's what's going and i don't know how to fix it.
Calimom,
My great nephew does the same thing, he is also 6 years old.
Go look up the word...HYPOTONIA..... it is "low muscle control," the child can't help it. Just take a look and see if the definition fits your child. I can't remember what my niece does for this, if she got pills for him to take of what. But it is worth looking up.....google it.
Willow
Hendricksmom has a good point, perhaps if you totaly ignore him when he has the accidents, don't say anything to him and just non-shalontly clean it up then go on about your business. Then the times he has clean pants, make a HUGE fuss over him and tell him you love hugging him and playing with him when he smells clean, after a while he will look forward to the attention he gets from you only when he is clean. good luck
Sometimes the bladder does not develop as quickly as the rest of the body and they don't get that " I got to go " urge until it is too late. It could have nothing to do with behavior and i would caution against using discipline if there are accidents. Speaking from experience sometimes they just can't help it.
I would maybe have him try and use the bathroom more often and if he says he doesn't have to go make him try. I would also make a huge thing when he has clean pants and just kindof blow it off when he has an accident. My daughter has to be told to go in and try to use the bathroom she is 4, if not when she gets to playing with friends she has accidents.
Hey Everyone!
Thank you so much for your responses! Your advice and suggestions are all very helpful. I should have probably gone into more detail about my son, as my son had previously shown signs of a Sensory Processing Disorder although most of these signs went away when his daddy came home from deployment.
I took him to his 6 yr well child check up today and at this time, we are treating it as if it is Encopresis. My aunt and I found a website that was very helpful, and after talking to his pediatrician today we are going to try this route. I feel very good about this, but she said we still have a long road ahead of us (approx. 6 months).
Again, Thank you so much! I appreciate all of your help.
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